REPORTING LIVE FROM CUERVO BEACH

Despite appearances, HITS' Pop radio correspondent and resident meteorologist Leisa St. John does, in fact, have sense enough to come in out of the rain. But she's decided to give her umbrella (which you'll recognize as '90s Arista promotional swag) a stress test amid the rain and high surf on the Redneck Riviera. "Well, shoot fire," she observed. "I reckon I shouldn't oughta have plugged in my blender out here with the lightning and whatnot, but it's already margarita-thirty." Later, David Massey sent over a poncho.

HITS LIST: AROUND
THE MAYPOLE
The biz springs into motion. (5/13a)
MALONE, WALLEN APPEAR NOT TO NEED "HELP" ACHIEVING MILESTONE
A genre-obliterating collab (5/13a)
RAJ KAPOOR: STACKING THE STARS, MAKING THE ACMs SHINE
Producer putting the finishing touches on Thursday's show. (5/13a)
WHAT'S NOT TO "LIKE?" HUGE STREAMS FOR KING KENDRICK
No longer keeping his diss-tance. (5/13a)
NEW RELEASES: "HELP" ARRIVES, SWIFT EXTENDS STREAK
Post, Morgan and the ever-popular POETS (5/13a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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