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Friday, August 24, 2018

HITS LIST:
GIMME SOME SUGAR

The count of Monte Lipman, already impressive YTD, has been further juiced up this week by Ariana Grande’s biggest debut yet, to the delight not only of the Lipmanian populace but also that of Scooterland and its monarch, Allison Kaye. And just like that, we’ve covered 30% of our top 10 trending topics of the week in this nutty business. Throw in heated rivals David Dorn of Apple and Steve Boom of Amazon and we’re halfway there. Curious about the other half? Look no further.

Note: No oligarchs were harmed during the making of this HITS List.

 
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TOP 20: JUST TRUST US
A second sonic Boom (4/18a)
Check It Out Now
ON THE COVER:
AARON BAY-SCHUCK
AND TOM CORSON
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/17a)
Check It Out Now
NEAR TRUTHS:
PRIMARY NUMBERS
Hats off to Larry (4/17a)
Check It Out Now
TAY’S FORTHCOMING DEBUT: WE ARE TORTURED BY SPECULATION
So many questions (4/18a)
Check It Out Now
THE COUNT: COACHELLA, FROM THE COUCH
The coziest way to experience the fest (4/18a)
Check It Out Now
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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