"I find this star to be of poor construction and designed with every cliché imaginable," intones SYCO founder, reality-competition mastermind and international music genius Simon Cowell on the occasion of his addition to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. "Listen, mate, could you keep your voice down a bit?" asks Sony Music boss Rob Stringer. "We're right across the street from the HITS offices, and I really don't want them to know I'm here."

Meanwhile, Idol alumna Kelly Clarkson beamed and Leron Gruber of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce wondered when to slip Cowell his demo tape.