HITS LIST: NO FOOLIN’

Chart-topping Jack White is aware of the fact that he looks like Edward Scissorhands. Republic is staffed primarily by Democrats. Tina Tchen knows what FLOTUS stands for. Shawn Mendes knows all the words to “O Canada.” Cindy Mabe can drink Mike Dungan (but not Kacey Musgraves) under the table. Zach Katz is not conversant in German. Archie Davis has never heard of Jughead. Some of these tidbits are factual; however, they’re entirely absent from the annual April’s Fool edition of HITS List. Don’t believe everything you read on Sunday, which is also some sort of religious holiday—or two. We kid you not.

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TORTURED POETS UNITE: TAYLOR IS BACK
Is she ever. (4/19a)
HITS LIST ENTERS
PLAYOFF MODE
Will the scoring record be broken? (4/19a)
SONG REVENUE: CALM BEFORE THE STORM
J. Cole has his moment; Future-Metro have another big payday. (4/19a)
WARNER CHAPPELL ROPES IN RED CLAY STRAYS
Another big get for Guy and Carianne (4/19a)
THE COUNT: COACHELLA, FROM THE COUCH
The coziest way to experience the fest (4/19a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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