JODY GERSON, SHE'S JOLLY GOOD


"I'm so excited for Harry! What a dream come true," exclaimed UMPG U.K. MD Mike McCormack at the BRITs—where the pubco's winners included Dua Lipa (British Female Solo Artist & British Breakthrough Act), Steve Mac (Best British Producer) and Harry Styles (Best British Artist Video).

"Yes, 'Sign of the Times,' is quite special," UMPG's global ruler, Jody Gerson, replied. "Oh, right, of course," muttered a blushing McCormack. "He's great, but what about the Prince and Meghan Markle? The wedding! I can't stop giggling in anticipation!"

Later, COO Marc Cimino (pictured below) prompted a heated argument, asking "Which flavor of Walkers Potato Crisps is more delicious? Prawn Cocktail or Marmite?

TORTURED POETS UNITE: TAYLOR IS BACK
Is she ever. (4/19a)
HITS LIST ENTERS
PLAYOFF MODE
Will the scoring record be broken? (4/19a)
SONG REVENUE: CALM BEFORE THE STORM
J. Cole has his moment; Future-Metro have another big payday. (4/19a)
WARNER CHAPPELL ROPES IN RED CLAY STRAYS
Another big get for Guy and Carianne (4/19a)
THE COUNT: COACHELLA, FROM THE COUCH
The coziest way to experience the fest (4/19a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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