2 MILLION FOR TAY? THE BIBLE BUMBLES AGAIN

Despite the Bible’s nutty formulation for her to reach 2 million first week, analysts are predicting Taylor Swift’s reputation (Big Machine/BMLG), while bowing well ahead of prior smash set, 1989, will probably do a very strong 1.5m first week. That's an estimable achievement, especially amid seriously declining sales. But the Bible's estimate appears unlikely unless she adds a major ticket bundle—or Billboard’s John Amato makes another huge rule change for her in exchange for a meet-and-greet with the staff of a Del Taco in Bensonhurst. That’s entirely plausible, given Amato’s general spinelessness and the Bible’s propensity for changing rules like they’re light bulbs (witness the recent YouTube chart debacle). With album and track sales down 36% since 2014, when 1989 was released, insiders question the assumption that Swift can exceed her previous album’s sales by 700-800k.

Of course, anything’s possible with the savvy Swift, and there’s every possibility she’s got something unforeseen in her back pocket to make those numbers. But it’s not happening by the Bible’s lumpy arithmetic.