BRITS PICS TO CLICK

Sony U.K. chief Jason Iley exults in a spectacular evening alongside Columbia head and soon-to-be Sony Music ruler Rob Stringer. “With any luck,” Iley said, “those idiots at HITS won’t get their hands on this photo.”

“Your performance was wonderful,” UMG U.K. chieftain David Joseph tells superstar Katy Perry after the BRITs. Added Virgin EMI topper Ted Cockle, “Don’t worry about one of the houses falling off the stage. That’s exactly how we felt after the Brexit vote.” Later, the two giant skeleton puppets from Perry’s number formed a coalition with UKIP.

Warner U.K. ruler Max Lousada entertains artist Ed Sheeran and WMG owner Len Blavatnik, who offered to help if the British government needed to borrow a few bob until payday.

Sony U.K. boss Jason Iley volunteers to be the guest vocalist on the next single by The Chainsmokers, who promptly cued up a slammin’ remix of the Q1 financials.

UMG U.K. boss David Joseph congratulates Best Female Solo Artist winner Emeli Sandé. Seen just before drinking enough to emulate the posture of the BRITs statue are (l-r) Roc Nation's Kate Rothschild, producer/writer Naughty Boy, Sandé, Joseph and Jupiter Management's Ruth Titmarsh.

Columbia chief Rob Stringer recalls what a night out in the U.K. is like as he pauses to pose with Modest Management's Harry Magee and Syco's Simon Cowell, who noted that they'd had the Thames filled with lager and it was time for a swim.

Atlantic U.K. head Ben Cook and artist Charli XCX prepare to browse the evening's sumptuous array of boiled vegetables.

Sony Music U.K. COO Nicola Tuer celebrates a fabulous evening with Sony Music Germany chief Philip Ginthör. “One more glass of champers and I’ll need an umlaut of my own,” Tuer chuckled, adding, “Sorry about that whole Brexit business. Bit awkward.”

Parlophone Chairman Miles Leonard poses with Tinie Tempah, who subsequently rolled a blunt that caused hallucinations across the West Midlands.

Photo credits: JM Enternational and Stacey Osborne.