SUPER BOWL ADS KICK OUT THE JAMS

While Justin Bieber (in a non-singing role) stars in a nerdtastic T-Mobile Super Bowl ad, music plays an outsized role on this, the holiest day of gluttonous gridiron consumption. A halftime performance by Lady Gaga is the headliner, but a plethora of music-driven commercials will keep us entertained in the event the Super Bowl becomes a mind-numbing slog.

Stay planted on your couch for these ads:

Lexus: “Man and Machine.” Over a soundtrack of Sia’s sleek “Move Your Body,” Lexus makes the very plausible claim that its new LC 500 Performance Coupe is muscular, lithe and graceful, just like the jookin’ Lil Buck, who busts his moves–including a very Lionel Richie-esque dance on the ceiling–while trapped in a room with a very hot cherry-red automobile. All while Minnie Driver makes love to her voice-over copy. So the answer is yes, you’ll want to have sex with this car.

Kia: “Hero’s Journey.” Nostalgia for the good old days—you know, like a month ago—when saving the environment seemed like an important thing. A series of comic vignettes, starring Melissa McCarthy fruitlessly attempting to save the planet (whales, trees, polar ice cap, rhinos). Roadrunner-esque hilarity ensues. Bonnie Tyler’s totally ‘80s classic “I Need a Hero” follows Melissa on her misadventures.

GoDaddy: “The Internet Wants You.” Ironic Rick Astley nostalgia is so 2014, but GoDaddy gives “Never Gonna Give You Up” another twirl as the backdrop for a spot that pays homage to the joy of website building.

Mercedez Benz: “Easy Driver.” Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, this clip stars Peter Fonda, riffing on his iconic role as Captain America in 1969s Easy Rider, while Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild” blasts in a biker bar. But this time, Fonda’s driving a Benz.

Wendy’s: “Frozen Beef.” Inside a dreary 1984-style meat locker, a man attempts to unfreeze piles upon piles of frozen beef patties with a hair dryer. Naturally, Foreigner’s “Cold As Ice” comes to the rescue to drive the point home.

LifeWTR: “Inspiration Drops.” It’s a feel good time, as art (along with LifeWTR) makes the world a brighter, more colorful place. Soundtracked by John Legend’s “Love Me Now.” Keep the Kleenex handy.

Nintendo: “Switch.” Featuring a brand-new Imagine Dragons track, “Believer,” this spot for the electronics behemoth celebrates the many ways in which you can play the Zelda game with their new Switch console, while perpetuating the myth of communal video game play.

Fox: Empire. The network is touting the 3/22 return of Empire with Cookie putting the football season behind her and getting ready for Spring Training. Haddaway’s 2009 track “What is Love?” provides the soundtrack.