A sketch artist's rendering of Jordan, based on an unsigned band's description to police.

JORDAN CROSSES TO THE ETHOS

Jason Jordan has joined Republic Records as SVP A&R; he was previously President of Imagem Music U.S. He arrived at the House of Lipman this week, reporting to EVP Rob Stevenson. In addition to learning to work the word "ethos" into his texts to bands, Jordan will be outfitted in a fetching black wardrobe from Varvatos and will try to convince Chopper Charlie Walk to give him a ride to gigs in his whirlybird.

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THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
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Who's gonna get him? (4/25a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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