ANNI ARCHIVES: UP THE ACADEMY

Does this vintage pic of Recording Academy ruler Neil Portnow fill us with nearly inexpressible joy? It does. But what you may not know is that Neil has relied heavily on this disguise over the years to slip incognito into the various smoky rooms that determine the fate of the Grammys. While there, under the alias "Julius Portnofsky," he tests his underlings with tricky, Talmudic questions about the A Taste of Honey discography and the metal credentials of Jethro Tull. Then he disappears into a cloud of mist. This photo is brought to you by the HITS 30th Anniversary Issue, soon to land on your desk like an unwanted trophy.