RUMOR MILL
Thursday, April 21, 2016
#HAPPYBIRTHDAY-YOURMAJESTY
Today is The Queen's birthday here in Blighty, and Elizabeth II is turning 90. If you're not lucky enough to be a resident of the British Isles and therefore are au fait with how parties go down on this side of the sea, here are a few suggestions to commemorate her Majesty's big day.
1. Have a cup of English tea and cake; ideally Victoria sponge
2. Cover the office in bunting shaped like tiny Union Jacks
3. Order a round of weak lager during a lunchtime visit to a local pub with colleagues and continue drinking until you are, by definition, “arseholed”—a state we're currently approaching
VMAs BEAMING BACK
TO THE BIG APPLE Getting back to where they once belonged (4/24a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
Jon Wayne is rolling over in his grave. (4/24a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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A CHORUS OF PRAISE: IVORS 2024 NOMSrumor mail
