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#HAPPYBIRTHDAY-YOURMAJESTY

Today is The Queen's birthday here in Blighty, and Elizabeth II is turning 90. If you're not lucky enough to be a resident of the British Isles and therefore are au fait with how parties go down on this side of the sea, here are a few suggestions to commemorate her Majesty's big day.

1. Have a cup of English tea and cake; ideally Victoria sponge

2. Cover the office in bunting shaped like tiny Union Jacks

3.  Order a round of weak lager during a lunchtime visit to a local pub with colleagues and continue drinking until you are, by definition, “arseholed”—a state we're currently approaching

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