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#HAPPYBIRTHDAY-YOURMAJESTY

Today is The Queen's birthday here in Blighty, and Elizabeth II is turning 90. If you're not lucky enough to be a resident of the British Isles and therefore are au fait with how parties go down on this side of the sea, here are a few suggestions to commemorate her Majesty's big day.

1. Have a cup of English tea and cake; ideally Victoria sponge

2. Cover the office in bunting shaped like tiny Union Jacks

3.  Order a round of weak lager during a lunchtime visit to a local pub with colleagues and continue drinking until you are, by definition, “arseholed”—a state we're currently approaching

NEAR TRUTHS:
A WORSE MOUSETRAP
Feeling the burn of the Hot 100. (5/29a)
OSEARY ERA ENDS
AT MAVERICK
But don't expect Madge's man to go on "Holiday." (5/29a)
HITS LIST IS ALL WET
Your Top 10 talking points, updated (5/29a)
LADY GAGA DELIVERS
Superstar and her team call an audible. (5/29a)
AIRHEAD: HOW TO WIN THE HOT 100
You just need these six credit cards... (5/29a)
SHORT WEEK
Enjoy being even more confused by the calendar.
BLACK MUSIC MONTH
Celebrating the music that fuels the biz.
INSTACART
Dammit, we said DILL pickles!.
TRUMP SAID WHAT, NOW?
Just wondering if you still give a fuck.
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