DONALD TRUMP ENDING HIS CAMPAIGN

Happy April Fool's! Unfortunately, the fool in the headline's still got a shot.

On that note, let's turn your attention to some "real" governmental news. Andrew W.K. has formed a brand new political party, The Party Party. The rocker (and King of Partying) is known for changing the conversation, which is evident in his weekly Village Voice column, so this is all really surprisingly unsurprising.

Andrew's team is currently working on meeting the Secretary of State's requirements to qualify the party legitimately, a statement revealed. Go here for more info.

And, now, a message from our future President:

"This polarizing form of government has contributed to an adversarial mentality among voters and politicians. The binary 'Us versus Them', 'Red versus Blue', 'Right versus Left' mindset has been a perpetual distraction and distorted our shared quest to make tangible improvements to our country and ourselves. Constantly battling and blaming each other has hindered our ability to collectively and individually contribute towards the true destiny of the United States of America: the complete and total liberation of the human spirit.

Buried deep inside this mountain of overwhelming national anxieties, complex international dilemmas, and endlessly competing principles, there is a fundamental truth—that we are all in this together. Many of us fail to realize that at our very core, we ultimately do share many of the same essential values. These values are what make us Americans and also make us human beings. And if we can celebrate these shared qualities first, and look to find the best in ourselves and each other, perhaps we'll find the path ahead to be slightly less treacherous. The world isn't being destroyed by 'Red or Blue', 'Left or Right', 'Us or Them'—it's being destroyed by one side believing the other side is destroying the world. Perhaps right now we just need a little less politics and a lot more party."