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"Ohhhhh, shit, you look so freakin' fine. That outfit is making me cray-cay," declares chart-topping Westbury Road/Roc Nation superstar Rihanna to RIAA head Cary Sherman as she receives plaques commemorating the platinum status of new album ANTI and 100m career single sales. Later, one million plaques were given away to Tidal subscribers, entitling Rihanna to one free additional plaque for every nine she earns.

NEAR TRUTHS:
SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/29a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/29a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/27a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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