Do not mail to Oregon.

GRAMMY PICKS FROM PANDORA’S BOX

Ready for more Grammy handicapping? Of course you are. Pandora has put together a few predictions of winners in major categories, based on user activity. The picks were determined by comparing overall spins of a track with total “thumbs up” from Pandora listeners. If their tastes prevail, these acts (among others) will take home statuettes:

  • Record of the Year: The Weeknd, “Can’t Feel My Face”
  • Album of the Year: Chris Stapleton, Traveller
  • Best New Artist: Meghan Trainor
  • Best Pop Solo Performance: The Weeknd, “Can’t Feel My Face”
  • Best Pop Group/Duo Performance: Taylor Swift f/Kendrick Lamar, “Bad Blood”
  • Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: Nicki Minaj f/Drake, Lil Wayne & Chris Brown, “Only”
  • Best Country Song: Chris Stapleton, “Traveller”

Speaking of mysterious boxes, the members of the anti-government militia who’ve taken over a frozen, stinking, abandoned wildlife refuge in Oregon—because, um, America!—are complaining that their online appeals for supplies have led to many, many people mailing them “care packages” containing dildos. They would like you to please stop sending dildos to them c/o Jon Ritzheimer, Burns, OR 97720.

TOP 20: JUST TRUST US
A second sonic Boom (4/18a)
ON THE COVER:
AARON BAY-SCHUCK
AND TOM CORSON
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS:
PRIMARY NUMBERS
Hats off to Larry (4/17a)
TAY’S FORTHCOMING DEBUT: WE ARE TORTURED BY SPECULATION
So many questions (4/18a)
THE COUNT: COACHELLA, FROM THE COUCH
The coziest way to experience the fest (4/18a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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