Andrew WK

HE CLEANS UP REAL GOOD: There's nothing better than an item that begins, "This is apparently not a joke." Such was Pitchfork's reaction to news that Andrew W.K. has been named the spokesman for Playtex Fresh + Sexy Wipes, which the hygiene-product giant developed expressly for ... well, we'll let Andrew tell you. "Whether you just finished rocking a packed club or have an intimate encounter after a busy day, this product will make couples feel brand new," he gushed in a statement. "Fresh + Sexy Wipes were specially designed to help couples feel confidently clean, before and after they engage in sexual activity!" This unlikely relationship has gone viral (in a nice way), resulting in more pop-culture visibility for the Playtex brand since the dawn of the Cross Your Heart Bra. Look for the rocker to take the sponsorship synergy to bizarre new heights at the Fresh +Sexy SXSW party. Sadly, there is still no wipe that will remove the residue of a relationship with HITS. (3/6p)