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The Sweet Smell of Excess

THE SWEET SMELL OF EXCESS:  In the wake of the security guard who filed suit against Universal Music Publishing Group last week for complaining the place was "infiltrated with pervasive drug use where you could smell marijuana seeping from various offices and openly used in common areas," HITS magazine has authorized the use of the revolutionary GPen, which vaporizes wax-encased pot emitting nary an odor. Said one slightly stoned Senior Editor: “What do you mean you ate all the M&Ms?”  (4/16p)

HITS LIST: AMPERSANDS
Dynamic duos (12/7a)
NEAR TRUTHS:
WINNING NOMINATIONS
I.B. Bad on music's biggest comeback (12/7a)
ON THE COVER: LADY GAGA & TONY BENNETT
It's De-Lovely. (12/7a)
ELVIS COSTELLO'S SONGS IN THE KEY
OF IF
He's got a new record to talk about. (12/8a)
RAINMAKERS: COMING GRAMMY WEEK
The hitmakers speak. (12/8a)
CHESTNUTS
Roasting.
STOCKINGS
Stuffing.
PIPERS
Piping.
SANTA
Coming.
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