The Sweet Smell of Excess

THE SWEET SMELL OF EXCESS: In the wake of the security guard who filed suit against Universal Music Publishing Group last week for complaining the place was "infiltrated with pervasive drug use where you could smell marijuana seeping from various offices and openly used in common areas," HITS magazine has authorized the use of the revolutionary GPen, which vaporizes wax-encased pot emitting nary an odor. Said one slightly stoned Senior Editor: “What do you mean you ate all the M&Ms?” (4/16p)

HITS LIST SLIDES
INTO SUMMER
Fire up the grill. (5/24a)
TORTURED POETS IN PARIS: TAY STRUMS THE BASTILLE WITH NEW ACOUSTIC SET
Another week, another iteration (5/24a)
SONG REVENUE: TRIAD
They're in the money. (5/24a)
DOJ FILES ANTITRUST LAWSUIT AGAINST LIVE NATION
A game of Monopoly on Capitol Hill (5/24a)
NEAR TRUTHS:
HOWDY, PARTNER
Redrawing the Mason-Dixon Line (5/24a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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