IB tease

LEARNING TO CRAWL: Note the crawl (in red) at the bottom of the TV screen immediately below. We lack the technology to do that on this sorry site, but we’re not letting that stop us from faking it. Here’s the premiere of the Rumor Mill crawl:

BREAKING NEWS// Jennifer Lopez has moved to RedOne’s imprint at Steve Barnett’s Capitol Music Group. There’s an early buzz surrounding the RedOne-produced first single, “Live It Up.”… RUMOR DU JOUR// What embattled label head is said to be on the ropes? Could he be facing an early exit from his long-term deal if he’s unable to make it rain soon?... POLL QUESTION// Now that L.A. Reid and Avril Lavigne have reunited at Epic, will they be able to summon up the magic they created together at Arista a decade ago?… RUMOR MILL// Stay tuned for further updates…

Actually, all this stuff is cribbed from the latest column by HITS industry insider I.B. Bad, which will magically appear tomorrow morning. So, like we said, stay tuned. (4/25a)

HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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