THE DEATH OF PRINT JOURNALISM, PART 8,703: For those of you who haven’t seen the most recent issue of our print publication, we thought we’d pass along the information that (a) we have a print publication and (b) these nice folks somehow got duped into appearing in and/or on it. Thanks to their smash “Say Something,” Black Magnetic/Epic Pop duo A Great Big World scored a #3 debut on the HITS Album Sales Chart for their first full-length, Is There Anybody Out There? It’s a huge coup for the pair—although we imagine they’ll want to say nothing about appearing on the cover of this rag.
Columbia ruler Rob Stringer is the HITS Contents Dungeon Prisoner of the Week. Stringer is red-hot coming out of the Grammys, as Daft Punk’s big wins reignite their record, Beyoncé continues to dominate, Pharrell explodes and John Legend makes a huge impact. Add Grammy trophies for Adele and The Civil Wars, and you’ll see why Rob is singing “Happy.” Not even this Contents shout-out can dampen his spirits. (2/3p)
THIS HITS PHOTO GALLERY IS WANDERING IN THE DESERT
Photographic proof of the weaselfest (4/15a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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