IVANA & LENNY CONSIDER THE CELLPHONE ONLIES

LENNY: so i have a question for this week's column
IVANA: this week is passover, shouldn't it be four questions?
LENNY: how do i get one of those records that debuts at #1 and doesn’t have to deal with cellphone onlies and callout research nightmares?
IVANA: there are only 4 or 5 bands that can do that: red hot chili peppers, pearl jam, green day and maybe audioslave or tool
LENNY: ah, gotcha... so i need to get one of those bands
IVANA: yeah. although it's not always a good thing, because if it doesn't call out right away, the song is descending before the cd comes out
LENNY: neither is callout research when my core audience is cellphone addicted
IVANA: the jacobs media study on that topic was terrifying
LENNY: i agree, that is why i keep referring to it, i like the cellphone onlies term
IVANA: i'm starting to get telemarketers on my cellphone
LENNY: that's good if u r lonely
IVANA: i'm never THAT lonely
LENNY: hey, is the arctic monkeys song going all the way? i love it
IVANA: i thought it was the raspberries that sang "go all the way?" the best use of the power chord in the history of rock, i might add.
LENNY: oy
IVANA: this week hawthorne heights' "saying sorry" became the highest-charting indie rock song in the bds era
LENNY: hawthorne heights and monkeys could be in the top ten together, an indie doubleplay
IVANA: that would be amazing
LENNY: two smashes. i think it could be the start of a trend
IVANA: we can't overlook lorraine caruso's new three days grace hit, "animal i have become"
LENNY: YOU HAVE????
IVANA: oh please
LENNY: 3dg is a smash, the cellphone onlies will love it
IVANA: i'd like to take a moment to acknowledge mark czarra and steph harty for having 3 songs in the top 10 this week: blue october, 10 years and godsmack)
LENNY: we like mark, he is a golfer.... and we like steph also (does she golf?)
IVANA: lenny wants to know if you golf
STEPHANIE: ha. i had a dream the other night that i did
IVANA: is that a "no?"
SEPHANIE: that's a NO and a half
LENNY: well, we still like stephanie, and she can be a guest in our column anytime
IVANA: I will let her know. i'm sure she'll be thrilled
LENNY: anyone else deserving of shoutouts this week?
IVANA: our friends at victory for their top 10 sales debut on atreyu
LENNY: nice, is there a smash on that album also?
IVANA: indeed. “ex’s and oh’s”
LENNY: have we discussed damone yet? noelle could be the next big thing
IVANA: she's the greatest. i describe damone as "leather tuscadero fronting cheap trick"
LENNY: mtvU did an all-day premiere of the video, and their spoof PSA spot that's being passed around is the best saturday night live bit of the year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W_DY_zlnNc&search=damone psa
IVANA: the coheed & cambria/avenged sevenfold tour starts this week
LENNY: that will be enormous
IVANA: can't wait. i was excited to see that wfnx is back as a mediabase reporter after max threw them out when he was at r&r
LENNY: gotta love that max
IVANA: i also want to give a shout out to my peeps at virgin: bill c and howard p
LENNY: they have been hot for awhile now
IVANA: the new 30 seconds to mars record is kicking in, as is korn, and one of their new bands, we are scientists, will be opening for the next arctic monkeys tour
LENNY: with korn and 30 seconds, they are in the all jeff kwatinetz format
IVANA: that's one way of looking at it
LENNY: it is the way i have chosen
IVANA: speaking of the chosen, jacqueline and her team are spreading the new matisyahu song. they even got wend charlotte this week!
LENNY: jack daniels has always been a fan of heeb-hop reggae
IVANA: big props to my pal jeff sanders at wxnr greenville, nc. he's one of two jewish pds in the format, but it's a lot tougher to find a good bagel in greenville than it is in chicago, where mike stern resides
LENNY: oy veismere
IVANA: did you see either lost or desperate housewives this week? the spoon/jaguar spot ran during both
LENNY: love the spoooooooon....they are my favorite utensil band
IVANA: i thought we buried that joke last year
LENNY: it's a perennial. radio is once again making a huge mistake by not playing spoon, mucho familiar with their cellphone onlies
LENNY: i love saying cellphone onlies
LENNY: cellphone onlies
IVANA: can you hear me now?
LENNY: cellphone onlies
IVANA: hey dave, lenny is obsessed with the term "cellphone onlies" he is using it in every sentence. it's really annoying. so thanks
DAVEBEASING: Tell him to feel free to shorten it to "cpo's." that's what the hip people are doing.
IVANA: that wouldn't apply to lenny
IVANA: a bunch of pomo stations added that hoobastank song that leaked. it appeals to an audience that felt billy squier's "the stroke" was too subtle
LENNY: i think the cellphone onlies will love the hooba song
IVANA: my other favorite songs are by the sounds (which sold a ton first week!), ladytron, elefant, people in planes and gomez
LENNY: ok, cool... well then say goodnight, gracie and goodnight to all the little cellphone onlies everywhere
IVANA: arctic monkeys is on kroq now, i must dance