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Seeing this absolutely stunning Jewish American Princess spewing the dirtiest monologue I’d ever heard was simply the funniest thing ever, as was watching boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel hiding backstage for every riotous performance.

WEAKEND PLANNER IS FIXING A HOLE WHERE THE RAIN GETS IN

If You're Moving Through Life With a Cloud Over Your Head, Think of This Weekend as a Temporary Silver Lining
Before we get started with the weekly drivel, we want to alert you to the likely imminent loss of yet another landmark in Los Angeles, a city that seems intent on eradicating its own history. We urge you to do your part to save the Hollywood Regency Hotel; click here and sign the petition. It’s a classic rock & roll hotel that needs to be preserved.

CALENDAR
Friday, Nov. 11th

Check with the venues for set times on the following shows:
Depeche Mode w/The Bravery @ Magness Arena, Denver, CO
The Rocket Summer @ SOMA, San Diego (all ages)
Lisa Marie Presley w/Joe Firstman @ House of Blues, Sunset Strip
Stoney Curtis Band @ Steve's BBQ, Whittier
Rob Thomas w/Anna Nalick @ Memorial Auditorium, Sacramento
Against Me! @ The Complex, Memphis
Spoon and Bright Eyes @ Orpheum Theatre, Omaha
MTV $2 Bill Concert featuring Damian Jr. Gong Marley @ House of Blues (Disneyland), Anaheim

11:00pm
Landmark: Since this Chicago hot spot opened, there have been lines out the door each weekend. Located on Halsted St.

Saturday, Nov. 12th
12:30pm
USC @ Cal (ABC):
Cal was the last team to beat the Trojans, way back in 2003, and they hope to spring another trap on SC’s first visit to Berkeley’s Strawberry Canyon since then.

LSU @ Alabama (CBS): Can the Crimson Tide hang on to an undefeated season? This will be the first of three excruciatingly tough games, topped off by the SEC Championship Game—assuming Bama doesn’t lose the next two, against the sixth-ranked Bayou Bengals and then against arch-rival Auburn in what has come to be known as the Iron Bowl.

4:00pm
Arizona State vs. UCLA on (ABC): After a horrific showing against the Wildcats last week, the Bruins will be at home against the Sun Devils in a game that is a must-win for UCLA.

4:45pm
Auburn vs. Georgia (ESPN)

Check with the venues for set times on the following shows:
The Sounds w/Shiny Toy Guns and special guest DJ's. James Iha and more @ Element (1642 N. Las Palmas; all ages)
Coheed and Cambria w/Dredg, Blood Bros. and mewithoutyou @ Northern Lights, Clifton, NY
Socialburn @ Vinoy Waterfront Park, St. Petersburg, FL
Yellowcard w/Acceptance and The Pink Spiders @ The Crowbar, State College, PA
Matisyahu @ Fox Theatre, Boulder, CO
Slipknot w/As I Lay Dying and Unearth @ Rockford Metro Centre, Rockford, IL
My Morning Jacket w/Saul Williams @ The Fillmore, San Francisco
Def Leppard and Bryan Adams @ Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre, Irvine

10:00pm
Rocket Summer @ The Glass House.

Sunday, Nov. 13th
10:00am-7:00pm
Chocolate Show New York @ The Metropolitan Plaza. If you’re a big fan of chocolate, this is your playground.

Check with the venues for set times on the following shows:
The Red Chord w/Converge, Darkest Hour and Municipal Waste @ The Alley,
Miami
Social Distortion w/The Chelsea Smiles @ The Fillmore, San Francisco
Arch Enemy, A Perfect Murder, All That Remains and Mnemic @ House of Blues, Sunset Strip
Kings X @ High Dive, Champaign, IL
Saliva @ Clearwater Theater, West Dundee, IL

Monday, Nov. 14th
8:00pm
Seether
and 30 Seconds to Mars @ Salt Air Pavilion, Salt Lake City
Butch Walker w/DaMone @ Metro/Smart Bar, Chicago

ROY’S RAVES
The Rolling Stones @ Angels Stadium: Of course, the trip down was a nightmare, taking about three hours from the Valley through Friday-night traffic. And that doesn’t count lining up to get in, getting the by-now-traditional pat-down and then standing for wrist bands to allow you to get on the field. That said, seeing the Stones is like going to Mount Rushmore: you have to do it at least once in your life. But do we really need to see them play “Satisfaction” or “Jumping Jack Flash” or “Honky Tonk Women” again? This time, I wanted my kids to see ’em, so I bought them a pair of $75 “limited view” seats in the right-field stands that actually weren’t too bad, though it’s hard to capture the excitement when Mick and company can only be seen through binoculars, so when I sat with them for the first half of the show, which began, predictably, with “Start Me Up,” the inconsequential “You Got Me Rocking” and the disposable “She’s So Cold,” I began squirming a bit. And while Robert Hilburn kvetched about the lack of songs from the new album, that seems to me a minor quibble considering every track on the comebacking A Bigger Bang sounds like something else in their vast repertoire. No one goes to Mount Rushmore expecting to see Bill Clinton’s head carved up there, do they? The set itself, which reached to the top of the stadium, complete with tiers that held paying customers, was impressive, but when the motorized stage darted out into the audience, and I realized it was approaching our $160 field-level seats, we ran out and found ourselves about 50 feet from the Stones cranking through “Miss You,” “Rough Justice,” “Get Off of My Cloud” and the aforementioned “Honky Tonk Women.” From that standpoint, even when the band returned to the stage, the sound was amazing and the giant big screen remarkable in its clarity. Mick Jagger continues to amuse with his tongue-in-cheek, marionette-on-acid mugging, as does the hilarious just-a-lad interplay between Keef and Ronnie. As for Charlie, he’s the secret weapon. All in all, would I spend $454.50 to see the Stones? Probably not, but that’s not the point. The band gives the audience, whoever they are, their money’s worth, and seeing “Sympathy for the Devil” performed by these guys is like going to see a Wagnerian opera. The realization hits that we won’t see its likes again, Ameriquest or no… And who among today’s crop of bands will be able to fill a stadium like that, aside from perhaps U2, and they kinda proved they couldn’t with their “Pop” tour. Green Day? Radiohead? Coldplay? No, my friends, if this is the Boomers’ final gasp—if this could be, indeed, the last time—so be it. Never mind the SUVs, this was rock & roll.

Laszlo Borsai, The Death of Wizdem (Nothingmoments Publishing): Veteran artist manager Les Borsai, who worked at Avalon, MCA Records and Bill Silva Presents, has reverted to his given name for this no-holds-barred account of an Orange County childhood gone awry, a kind of Catcher in the Rye set in the shadows of a theme park suspiciously like the Magic Kingdom, a Less Than Zero for the go-go ’80s that follows a group of hellbent kids on their journey through sex, drugs and petty theft, eventually escalating into tragedy. The son of strict immigrant parents, Borsai is unflinching in his portrayal of the dark side of the American dream, though he eventually pulls himself from the wreckage to succeed as a rave promoter and music industry exec who survives to tell the tale, which is by turns harrowing and nihilistic. Borsai doesn’t spare himself in his indictment of a generation bent on self-destruction in an impressive feat of fictionalized autobiography with a stylized prose that recalls A Clockwork Orange. The online buzz has already started on the book, with a piece in the L.A. Times “Pop Eye” and a dedicated website where you can read excerpts from the book at www.laszloborsai.com.

Neil Diamond, 12 Songs (Columbia): Looking to garner a little critical respect for an impressive career, the Jewish Elvis turns to producer Rick Rubin, who managed to reposition Johnny Cash for the hipsters with his stark, no-frills approach, which focused attention on the gravitas of his iconic voice, and his ability to interpret other people’s material. Rubin places Diamond’s own distinctive voice (and songwriting) at the center, surrounding it with subtle, unobtrusive arrangements featuring Neil himself on acoustic guitar, along with Mike Campbell, Smokey Hormel, Billy Preston, Pat McLaughlin, Jonny Polonsky and Benmont Tench. Self-penned songs like “Evermore” and “Delirious Love” hint at the power of “Sweet Caroline” and “Holly Wholly” but also hark back to the $50-a-week Brill Building hooks of “I’m a Believer” and “Cherry Cherry.” And while the sentiments of “Man of God’ and “Create Me” sometimes resemble the Hallmark greeting-card verse of the man who wrote the uplifting soundtrack to Jonathan Livingston Seagull, the somber tones in which they’re delivered tell a far different story, one of mortality, loss and solitude. For artists like Cash and Diamond, all that popular acclaim has left them hungering for something more. Something Rick Rubin has isolated by stripping away the legend and leaving the man and his voice…naked and vulnerable.

Hurra Torpedo: Three guys in blue track suits from the fjords of Norway who play what they refer to as “Hvitevarerock,” which is Norwegian for “kitchen appliance rock.” I stumbled upon the group’s video while perusing www.phun.com, which is its own fascinating “Adult Entertainment Portal,” and it immediately attracted my attention. The threesome—Kristopher Hugh Martin Schau, Egil Hegerberg and Aslag Guttormsgaard—bang out a noisy racket embellished by taking a sledgehammer to refrigerators, ovens, microwaves and dishwashers as they make their way across the U.S. on what is apparently their first stateside tour, which, according to their My Space page, hit L.A.’s Roxy last night (11/10). The band’s adventures on the road, driving in their 2006 Ford Fusion, which is being given away in an online contest, is being chronicled, Spinal Tap-style, in a video rockumentary called, appropriately The Crushing Blow. They also apparently do a great cover of Bonnie Tyler’s “A Total Eclipse of the Heart” and are managed by one Gabe Frazzelblatt, whose brother Abe’s Ford dealership donated the car. Ya gotta love the Internet.

Extras (HBO): Ricky Gervais successor to The Office, a co-production of HBO and the BBC, started off rather slowly, with many of the same mumbled asides and throwaway lines of that show, which kept you with one thumb on the TiVo at all times. The showbiz setting and frequent British in-jokes eventually gave way to a surprisingly touching platonic friendship between Gervais and co-star Ashley Jensen as two middle-aged actors in various stages of frustration with their sputtering careers. The series started to come alive in the last episode, with Gervais pitching a sitcom that sounds suspiciously like The Office to the BBC after getting an in from the real-life Patrick Stewart, whom he meets while they’re both acting in a Shakespearian drama. Gervais captures the understated British way of dealing with public humiliation, which may be lower-key but no less excruciating than the social faux pas committed by his HBO colleague Larry David. Particularly hilarious is the negotiating session with the BBC and Gervais, in which his manager (played by writing partner Stephen Merchant) does everything he can to blow the deal in front of his mortified client, who sinks lower and lower into his chair as his head descends into his body like a turtle. —Roy Trakin

JE-C’S NEW-MOVIE RUNDOWN
Kicking things off this week in the movie section is my dad’s take on the hot movie of the weekend.

Sarah Silverman Is Magic: Ms. Silverman's movie, entitled Jesus Is Magic, hits theaters this weekend and, based on her one-woman show/play of the same name, it is an immediate must-see, charging to the top of my list. The show played in Los Angeles at the now-defunct Canon Theatre, under the aegis of the L.A. Stage Company, and since my wife ran the company, I was able to attend EVERY showing. Seeing this absolutely stunning Jewish American Princess spewing the dirtiest monologue I’d ever heard was simply the funniest thing ever, as was watching boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel hiding backstage for every riotous performance. This movie version of the show has the funniest trailer I've ever seen. Go see this movie immediately and bring your gnarliest sense of humor. Sarah Silverman is magic. —Lenny Beer

Zathura
Starring: Tim Robbins, Josh Hutcherson, Jonah Bobo, and Dax Shepard

Synopsis: This follow-up to Jumanji follows Danny and Walter Budwing, two brothers who discover a strange box while playing at a park. Inside the box is a jungle-themed board game (in the original, the game's animals came to life) and a second board, which is marked with a path to a purple planet called Zathura.
Thoughts: Directed by John Favreau this movie has a chance to do some good business, but the Jumanji mystique is no longer there with this follow-up, and it also lacks the always entertaining Robin Williams. My guess is that this one is a real stinker.

Limited release:
Derailed:
Starring Clive Owens and Jennifer Anniston
Bee Season:
Starring Richard Gere

NEAR TRUTHS: SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/28a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/28a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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