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You’ve seen all the good movies, and the ones that didn’t show for at least a week in December to get into Oscar contention are traditionally a sorry bunch; they’re hitting the theaters now with a dispiriting thud.
Son of the Mask, anybody?

THIS WEAKEND PLANNER
DOESN’T HAVE A CLUE

The Good Part Is It’s a Three-day Weekend.
The Bad Part Is It’s Three Days of Nothing...
Actually, That's a Good Part, Too
The Grammys are over and the Oscars are still a week away. The NHL season is officially canceled (in case you’re one of the majority of Americans who hadn’t noticed), you won’t see any more football for more than six months and the NBA is on winter break till next week—you don’t consider the All-Star Game and the Slam-Dunk Contest compelling drama, now do you? On top of that, you’ve seen all the good movies, and the ones that didn’t show for at least a week in December to get into Oscar contention are traditionally a sorry bunch; they’re hitting the theaters now with a dispiriting thud. Son of the Mask, anybody? Omigod, does this utter lack of options (Desperate Housewives, 24 and Lost excepted) mean what we think it does—that we’ll actually have to make eye contact and talk to each other this weekend? The alternative is just to sleep through it.

CALENDAR
Friday (Feb. 18)
4:00 p.m.
NBA All-Star Celebrity Game (ESPN)

6:00 p.m.
The Rookie Challenge (TNT): The best of the rookie class battle the best of the second-year class.

6:30 p.m.
http://www.skittles.com/index.jsp This Skittles-sponsored site allows you to create a virtual you (hair, face, bling, etc.), type up any message & email it to a friend. The friend will get a talking-you message. Knowing you, your friend will get a talking-dirty-you message. We know how you do.

7:00 p.m.
Food Not Bombs The Axis of Justice Benefit Show for the Hungry: Featuring Tom Morello, Bad Acid Trip & others @ Peace and Justice Center, 2210 Lincoln Blvd., (323) 758-4329

7:00 p.m.
Take Action Tour: Sugarcult, Hawthorne Heights, Anberlin, Hopesfall and Melee @ HOB, 8430 Sunset Blvd., (323) 848-5100

8:00 p.m.
Ted Leo & the Pharmacists @ the Galaxy, 3503 S. Harbor Blvd., Santa Ana, (714) 957-0600

8:30 p.m.
Ashlee Simpson @ Universal Amphitheater, 100 Universal City Plaza, (818) 622-4440

Saturday (Feb. 19)
12:00-4:00 p.m.
The Orange Groove: Orange County’s Rock ’n’ Roll History: The O.C., birthplace to surf music, the Fender guitar and punk rock hooligans Social Distortion, the Offspring & No Doubt, celebrates its rock heritage. Fullerton Museum Center, 301 N. Pomona Ave., Fullerton, (714) 738-6545

5:30 p.m.
NBA All-Star Saturday Night: Featuring the Three-Point Shootout and the Slam-Dunk Contest (TNT)

7:00 p.m.
www.potshow.com: Got your attention? The entire HITS staff pulse just speeded up. The Marijuana-Logues starring Tommy Chong (because really, who else could be as effective?) is Sat. 2/26 @ the Wiltern (7 p.m. & 10 p.m. shows). For reservations & $5 discounted tickets (use the five bucks for rolling paper): (213) 365-3500 You must mention promotion code: REEFER

11:30 p.m.
Saturday Night Live: Host, Hilary Swank; musical guest, Fitty Cent. Not sure how funny Hilary is, but how ’bout that running-in-the-bikini pic in this month’s Vanity Fair?

Sunday (Feb. 20)
3:00 p.m.
Shut the fuck up—Charo’s coming! But it’s in Cerritos, in the middle of the day… Now I’m just sad. Cerritos Center, 12700 Center Court Drive, (800) 300-4345. Tickets: $25-$55

4:00 p.m.
L.A. International Pen Show (WTF) More than 200 vendors from around the world sell, buy and trade vintage and new pens at this 17th annual event (How fucking exciting—count me in). Marriott Manhattan Beach. If you care that much, go on Yahoo Maps and figure it out yourself.

5:00 p.m.
The 54th NBA All Star Game: These games are always boring, but if you have a hi-def TV and your service provider allows you to watch TNT in hi-def; the game won’t seem half-bad. Hey, at least it’ll look good.

9:00 p.m.
Live From New York: The First Five Years of Saturday Night Live: As the show marks its 30th year, this documentary focuses on the unforgettable, groundbreaking early years. Try doing the “Spearchucker/Honky” sketch on TV today, dude.

10:00 p.m.
The L Word (Showtime): Jennifer Beals heads up season two of  trendy, naked girls macking on each other. You know you’ll be watching...

Upcoming:
Tuesday (Feb. 22)
8 p.m.
Jill
wil be funny @ the Hollywood Improv; 8162 Melrose Ave. (323) 651-2583. For $5 flyer: [email protected]

JE-C’S NEW-MOVIE RUNDOWN
Constantine
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Wiesz,
Tilda Swinton, Gavin Rossdale, Djimon Hounsou, Shia LaBeouf, Peter Stormare
Synopsis:
John Constantine has the unique ability to see the half-breed angels and demons that disguise themselves as humans and walk the Earth. These visions nearly drove him insane, and they lead him to attempt suicide and become close friends with the bottle. Now destined to patrol the border between heaven and hell, also known as Los Angeles, Constantine works to save people's souls. His latest task: helping a police detective solve the mysterious death of her twin sister.
Thoughts: Ignoring when it’s opening, I feel this one has the potential to be the first really cool movie of the new year. I mean, it’s got a good cast and looks like it has good visuals, but if it were really good, you’d think it would come out in the summer rather than February. Knowing me, I’ll be there opening night, because hey, what can I say, I don’t care how the critics feel about it.

Son of the Mask
Starring: Jamie Kennedy, Alan Cumming, and Bob Hoskins
Synopsis:
Aspiring cartoonist Tim Avery finds the magical mask of Loki, and soon his newborn son develops some of the mask's spectacular powers. This piques the interest of Loki himself, who really wants his mask back.
Thoughts: All I have to say about this one is, where is Jim Carrey? I mean, come on now, the only reason the first one was so good is because of the comic genius of Mr. Carrey. I know Jamie is funny, but sorry, you won’t catch me at this film.

Because of Winn-Dixie
Starring:
Jeff Daniels, Dave Matthews, Eva Marie Saint, Cicely Tyson, Anna Sophia Robb and Nick Price
Synopsis: A 10-year-old girl moves to a small Florida town with her preacher father, where she befriends a stray dog she names Winn-Dixie. The mutt helps her make friends with local townspeople and eventually allows her to repair her relationship with her dad.
Thoughts: Well, I certainly won’t be going to see this movie, either. Not my cup of tea. What a big snoozefest.

GRUBMAN & BRANCA
ON THE MENU
Lox & bagels is our guess. (10/4a)
GRAMMY CHEW:
RAP EDITION
Michael and Kyle find a feast of hip-hop to chew on. (10/5a)
REPUBLIC UPS GRYN TO EVP ROLE
She brings a Gryn to Roppo's face, so to speak. (10/4a)
LORETTA LYNN,
1932-2022
Honoring the life and music of a truth-teller (10/5a)
HIS OWN ARCHITECT:
THE STEVE LACY BUZZ
It was a surprisingly easy "Habit" to break. (10/5a)
GRAMMY SEASON
New categories! New rules! New WTF!
THE BIG DEAL
It's the one you didn't see coming.
RAID AT MAR-A-LAGO
"Who took my passports?"
HITS' 36TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
Allow us to apologize in advance.
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