IVANA’S COACHELLA SURVIVAL GUIDE
To Have:
A casita at La Quinta Resort (what better way to enjoy the music than after a hot stone massage).
A light jacket/sweater (although Goldenvoice will be selling hoodie sweatshirts for the unprepared).
Patience (allow at least three hours for the drive from
A copy of the schedule (www.coachella.com).
Paul Tollett’s cell number (for those all-important VIP wristbands, and use of his golf cart for joyriding around the grounds).
Kirk Sommer's cell number (to "upgrade" the VIP wristbands to Artist wristbands—if you don’t know who Kirk is, you don’t deserve Artist wristbands).
Appropriate footwear.
SPF1000
A small Evian atomizer to keep your skin hydrated in the desert.
Creme de la Mer moisturizer.
A map of the VIP restrooms.
The belief that your soulmate could be among the tens of thousands in attendance each day.
Leave at Home:
An attitude (this is the best festival lineup, EVER [It was true then and it’s true now—ed.]. Be courteous, relaxed and GRATEFUL to be there).
Your collection of "ironic" T-shirts you bought on eBay. Journey and Loverboy sucked. So did Xanadu. And Knightrider. You don’t look "emo" in these shirts, trust me.
Any band T-shirt for any of the artists playing that day.
Inappropriate footwear (no sandals or heels!).
See you this weekend!
CALENDAR
Friday, April 29
5:00 p.m.
Pistons vs. Sixers on ESPN: Game Three of this seven-game series as the scenery shifts to Philly. Can Iverson and Webber actually win a game? Can they actually even compete in the same gym as the bad boys of
6:00 p.m.
Suns vs. Grizzlies on ESPN 2: The Suns lead this best of seven series 2-0, but the Grizzlies played them tough in the last game and may have figured out a way to at least slow down the Suns just a little bit.
7:30 p.m.
Sonics vs. Kings on ESPN. The Kings got absolutely embarrassed in the first two games at Key Arena. Now they head home, where they are really hard to beat - can the Sonics keep the Kings down? Can Jerome James, who has suddenly emerged as a superstar, keep up his torrid pace?
7:30 p.m.
Puffy Amiyumi @ the Wiltern LG (213-380-5005)
8:00 p.m.
@ The
Saturday, April 30
8:00 a.m.
Santa Clarita Cowboy Festival 12th year for this annual festival (thru the weekend 8am-8pm). HBO’s Deadwood shoots here. Real cowboys & cowboys from the film world merge, along with a tour of local sites that were used for plenty of flicks. There’s music, a cowboy casino (which sounds more like a porno title, but maybe we’re just horny) etc. @ The Santa Clarita Melody Ranch. For info: 661-286-4021
11:00 a.m.
11:00 a.m.
Fleece Festival @
12:00 p.m.
Bulls vs. Wizards on TNT: The Baby Bulls lead this series 2-0 and now head to the nation’s capital, where they will look to continue their impressive play.
12:30 p.m.
Mavericks vs. Rockets on TNT: Tracy Mcgrady and the Rockets head home leading 2-0 and look to put away the Mavericks for good. Can Mark Cuban’s squad win a game on the road? Well, they’re going to have to or they’ll be heading home for the summer.
3:00 p.m.
If the weather permits, head down to the Santa Monica Pier and Third Street Promenande. Tons of shops and games, a good time for all. Unless you’re an agoraphobic or have a fear of being in close proximity to water…then this stuff is probably not so much for you.
5:00 p.m.
Celtics vs. Pacers on ESPN: Miller was awesome down the stretch in Game Two, as usual, and now he and his Pacers look to take a two-game-to-one lead in the series.
7:30 p.m.
Spurs vs. Nuggets on ESPN: After the Nuggets pulled off an impressive win in the series opener they got absolutely embarrassed in Game Two, losing by over 20 points. Now, with the series tied, the Nuggets head home where, they are 19- 1 under Coach George Karl. This series is going to be a war.
Sunday, May 1
10 a.m.-5pm
The Los Angeles Zoo Delivers—Everybody Loves a Baby: Take a special self-guided tour and see the zoo’s new baby animals, including orangutans, pangolins (what the &%?), giraffes & a Visayan warty pig (not soundin’ so cute nor, remotely sexual for that matter. Please note: HITS does not advocate anything sexual w/babies). Runs thru May 31 daily (www.lazoo.org).
11:00 a.m.
Coachella—Day Two: Continue the party. Ride out the hang over. Here are some of today’s bands: Nine Inch Nails, New Order, The Bravery, Black Star, Bright Eyes, The Arcade Fire, The Faint, Z-Trip, Kasabian,
11:00 a.m.
Fiesta Broadway—
Upcoming:
Monday, May 1
Bruce! Springsteen kicks off a couple nites of his solo tour at the Pantages Theatre. Let us know if he pulls girls up onstage when he’s flyin’ solo. Courteney, you should probably attend, just in case.
Tuesday, May 2
Snoop Dogg at the Apollo Theater @ 8 p.m. (
Thursday, May 5
Pat O’Brien returns to work at The Insider: Hey Pat, why don’t give me a call? I won’t play your voicemail for anyone & I firmly believe that all of us gals totally want it. Are all asking for it, for that matter. And I’m all about the three-way. Call me, dude. Love, Jill.
HOT MUSICIAN-ON-MUSICIAN ACTION
Weezer Live in
Here’s the setlist:
Tired of Sex
In the Garage
Beverly Hills
No One Else
This is Such a Pity
Buddy Holly
Photograph
Getchoo
Hold Me
Say It Ain't So
We Are All On Drugs
Island in the Sun
My Name is Jonas
Peace
Hash Pipe
Haunt You Every Day
----
Undone The Sweater Song
The Good Life
—Craig Northey
JE-C’S NEW-MOVIE RUNDOWN
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Starring: Martin Freeman, Mos Def, Sam Rockwell, Zooey Deschanel, Alan Rickman and Bill Nighy
Synopsis: Just before the Earth is destroyed in order to build an intergalactic hyperspace bypass, Arthur Dent learns that his friend Ford Prefect is an alien. Thankfully, Ford helps Arthur escape his doomed planet by hitchhiking on a passing spaceship with a handy copy of the book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Thoughts: You know, I never read the book, the coming attractions look really stupid, but for some reason I think I want to see this movie. Plus, some online reviews that I’ve been reading have been very positive, so I think I will recommend this one.
xXx: State of the Union
Starring: Ice Cube, Samuel L. Jackson, Willem Dafoe, Scott Speedman, Michael Roof and Nona Gaye
Synopsis: National Security Administration agent Augustus Gibbons recruits a new covert operative, Darius Stone, a man who's currently in the slammer. Stone is set free and takes on the alias xXx. His mission: to track a military splinter group that is conspiring to overthrow the
Thoughts: Ok, here’s the deal: I was really looking forward to seeing the first xXx with Vin Diesel when it came out, and it was a total letdown. The coming attractions to this sequel, now starring Ice Cube, look even better, but I just don’t want to get my hopes up and be completely upset for paying the ridiculous movie price for a bad movie. So, my conclusion is that I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether to see this movie or not. I’m still undecided.
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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