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HITS DWEEBS PICK THEIR TOP 10s
A Sampling of Cesspoolian Tastes, Plus Some New Year's Resolutions
Patricia Bock
(a best-of list that totals 10)
Best LPs: Beck, Sea Change (Geffen); Bruce Springsteen, The Rising (Columbia)
Best singles: Paul Okenfold "Starry Eyed Surprise"; Trik Turner "Friends & Family"
Best Films: About Schmidt, Roger Dodger
Best Books: Adam Haslett, You Are Not a Stranger Here; Michael Chabon, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay
Best TV shows: West Wing, 24

Bobbii Hach
1 Getting married July 13 to my schmoopy, Steve Jacobs
2 My 85-year-old father walking me down the aisle
3 Going on a two-week honeymoon to Hawaii
4 The TV show 24
5 Getting sex tips from the infamous Lou Paget at my bachleorette party
6 Rekindling a friendship from childhood
7 My matron of honor, Lauralee, having her baby girl, Samantha Lee
8 Throwing Charese Fruge her 30th birthday party
9 The Iowa Hawkeyes football team
10 Being so blessed with amazing friends

Mike Morrison
(in alphabetical order)
Audioslave, Audioslave (Epic/Interscope)
Elbow, Asleep in the Back (V2)
Gomez, In Our Gun (Hut/Virgin)
Jack Johnson, Brushfire Fairytales (Enjoy/Universal)
Norah Jones, Come Away With Me (Blue Note)
Avril Lavigne, Let Go (Arista)
N.E.R.D., In Search Of… (Virgin)
Orchestra Baobab, Specialist in All Styles (World Circuit/Nonesuch)
Strokes, Is This It (RCA)
Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (Nonesuch)

Jon O’Hara
Hank Williams III, Lovesick, Broke & Driftin’ (Curb)
Queens of the Stone Age, Songs for the Deaf (Interscope)
Earth Wind & Fire, TheEssential Earth, Wind & Fire (Columbia/Legacy)
Audioslave, Audioslave (Epic/Interscope)
Coldplay, A Rush of Blood to the Head (Epic)
The Donnas, Spend the Night (Atlantic)
Liars, They Threw Us All in a Trench and Stuck a Monument on Top (Mute)
J. Davis Trio, The New No. 2 (Yo-Yo Smuggler)
Dixie Chicks, Home (Open Wide/Monument)
Rolling Stones, 40 Licks (Virgin)

Marc Pollack
The Rolling Stones, Let it Bleed (ABKCO reissue)
The Rolling Stones, Beggar’s Banquet (ABKCO reissue)
The Rolling Stones, Aftermath, U.K. version (ABKCO reissue)
Audioslave, Audioslave (Epic/Interscope)
Queens of the Stone Age, Songs for the Deaf (Interscope)
Eminem, The Eminem Show (Aftermath/Interscope)
Eminem, “Lose Yourself” single (Shady/Interscope/UMG Strx)
Korn, Untouchables (Immortal/Epic)
The Strokes, Is This It (RCA)
Nelly, Nellyville (Fo’ Reel/Universal)

Toni Profera
1. Eva Cassidy, Eva by Heart
2. Feel, Feel (Curb)
3. Norah Jones, Come Away With Me (Blue Note)
4. Maia Sharp, Maia Sharp (Concord)
5. Kasey Chambers, Barricades & Brickwalls (Warner Bros.)
6. Bob Dylan, Love and Theft (Columbia)
7. Shakira, Laundry Service (Columbia)
8. Sade, Lovers Live (Epic)
9. Caitlin Cary, While You Weren’t Looking (Yep Roc)
10 Shania Twain, Up! (Mercury Nashville)

David Simutis
(in alpahabetical order)
Arlo, Stab the Unstoppable Hero (Sub Pop)
Neko Case, Blacklisted (Bloodshot)
Coldplay, A Rush of Blood to the Head (Capitol)
Elbow, Asleep in the Back (V2)
N.E.R.D., In Search Of… (Virgin)
Sunday’s Best, The Californian (Polyvinyl)
The Used, S/T (Reprise)
The Vines, Highly Evolved (Capitol)
Paul Westerberg, Stereo/Mono (Vagrant)
Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (Nonesuch)

And now for something completely different…
Denise Bayles’ Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions
Whoever thought up the ridiculous idea of quitting all things that are fun at the start of each year sucks! Nobody wants to ring in the new year if it means they have to stop eating, start exercising, quit drinking (or smoking, or both) and work harder. No wonder people get slobbering drunk on New Year’s Eve. In my usual style, I’m going against the norm and giving myself a real reason to celebrate. These are the top 10 things that I promise to do in the new year to make my life a little more exciting and a lot more bearable:

1. Duty Dating: A girl needs options. If you’re only dating one guy, then all of your focus is on him. If you’re dating two, then it’s either/or, but dating three gives you options.

2. Parties Galore: I have a great house, and it’s about time I started utilizing it. What a great excuse to shop for new scented candles and great wine. If anyone wants to know where the party’s at, tell them it’s at my house. Plus, the hostess always gets great gifts.

3. Discover My Inner Social Butterfly: No longer am I going to my house pathetically longing for the next season of The Bachelor. I’m going out to bars, shows, concerts; basically, wherever there are single men I’m going to be!

4. Single and Fabulous: I’m declaring it once and for all—I’m no longer going to whine about the lack of anyone to keep me warm at night; instead, I’m going to enjoy the fact that I have the entire bed to myself. Girl’s night out is going to be my new way of life.

5. Travel, Travel, Travel: I don’t care if it’s only to Tijuana, but I’m getting the hell out of dodge—a lot! I’ve always wanted to go to Greece and Ireland; which will it be this year? I’ve always loved Irish men!

6. Pampering: I deserve pampering, and damn it, it’s about time I get it! I’m talking facials, massages, manicures, pedicures, Greek men fanning me while feeding me grapes, etc. Every girl deserves to be treated like the goddess she is!

7. No More Shoppers Anonymous: Being paid with CDs and concert tickets can really hurt a gal’s shopping addiction. I’ve been in rehab for this problem for the past four months and had a slight relapse while Christmas shopping for my family. Instead of going cold turkey, I’m going to allow myself a splurge a month—those BCBG boots I’ve been eyeing or that Bebe dress in last month’s Cosmo.

8. Bon Appetit: I’m no longer going to feel guilty for my occasional morning indulgence of a mammoth-sized iced cinnamon roll washed down with a grande carmel macchiato with extra whipped cream and carmel. I’ll at least get nonfat milk.

9. Silk and Lace: I’ve found that women only frequent places like Victoria’s Secret and Fredrick’s of Hollywood when they have someone to flaunt around in front of. NO MORE! I’m going to allow myself the satisfaction of splurging on silk nighties and lacey bras and panties even if I’m the only one enjoying them, and if by chance I happen to get lucky, I’m wearing something sexy and not the comfortable “I don’t have a boyfriend” panties. What a bonus.

10. Indulge and Enjoy: That’s going to be my new motto. Life’s not any fun when it’s filled with restrictions. Don’t go crazy! Nobody wants you to gain 50 pounds and send yourself into rehab, but enjoy—you only get one shot.

Have a safe and fabulous holiday and please be safe—call a taxi! Until next year—hugs and kisses.—Denise Bayles

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