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NOT A SOUR KRAUT!!!

BMG Chairman Rolf Schmidt-Holtz Offers HITS Some Editorial Suggestions
Dear HITS Editors:

Vi haf you stopped your delicious cartoons about Bertelzmann and BMG? I am most dizappointed. Watch what. What watch! Cartoons about hillbillies and zat Liza? Veally, you can do betterr. Even that Sykes in a Volvo is better than zat krap.

Ja, Ja. Vee are haffing hits galore at BMG. By zee barrelful. And our barrels are big. Christina, vat a girl, and so modest. Santana, vee luf his voice. Zat Rod is vundabar! And Elvis, he is Kaiser.

Giff us some break, fellas. If you don't start paying attention to BMG, I vill haff to come to your liddle village of Sherman Oaks and knock some heads around.

All the Best,

Rolf

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