GLOBAL DOMINATION, HITS STYLE

Where We Try To Cover The World At Large, Without Misspelling Countries’ Names
In an attempt to keep up with the competition, here is hitsdailydouble.com’s first shot at comprehensive worldwide coverage of the music business. All geographical errors are strictly intentional.

BRUKLIO ON THE GO
Fantasia
Records Kyrgystan GM Vecheny Bruklio has exited the company. Bruklio joined Fantasia in 1984, and is credited with getting the label’s A&R staffs in Krygystan and Kazakhstan to work more closely together. Inside sources say his replacement is expected to be named shortly; goatherder Jelho Scoovio is considered the odds-on favorite. Before joining Fantasia, Bruklio worked for HMV, where he helped determine corporate strategy by interpreting sheep intestines.

LOOK OUT STARBUCKS
Former Polymer Lithuania Exec. VP Sales Gediminos Zilinnskas has opened up an Internet Cafe, Zilinnskas’ House of Good-Time Coffee House And Also Internet House, in the country’s capital city of Vilnius. The establishment will feature hot coffee and tea, computers with high-speed Internet access, live acoustic performances, the assembly of torch-wielding mobs and serving Peace Corps-provided boxes of Butterfingers. The performances will be webcast, thanks to a partnership with Lithuanet.com. Zilinnskas left Polymer Lithuania last month, after five years with the company’s Sales department and two years in a supply closet.

THE GOOD GUYDENS
In a move designed to boost its stock price, Jamie/Guyden has inked a publishing deal that will give the label a stronghold in Tanzania. The three-year pact with Tanzania Muzic has the imprint releasing four Jamie/Guyden records a year. One of the leading players in the local industry, Tanzania Muzic will promote Jamie/Guyden product in the emerging market, and has announced it will accept payment in lentils and beads. Jamie/Guyden’s previous Tanzania deal ran out in 1999, at which time its entire staff was lined up before a firing squad.

TAKING A BIG CHANCELLOR
Chancellor Records
has unveiled plans to expand its cocoa leaf-pressing facility in Uruguay. The $10 million project will add a printing plant and a suite of offices. At the same time, the label announced that regional director Gabriel Valdez will be leaving the company to pursue "other interests," which are said to include military coups and harvesting only those beans that will produce a rich, satisfying cup of coffee. He will be replaced by Juan Diaz, who is currently an executive at music website SongsByJuan.com, which has seen its business model of selling digital downloads of songs by Juan Diaz for $3.95 apiece struggle in a down market.

TOP 20: JUST TRUST US
A second sonic Boom (4/18a)
ON THE COVER:
AARON BAY-SCHUCK
AND TOM CORSON
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS:
PRIMARY NUMBERS
Hats off to Larry (4/17a)
TAY’S FORTHCOMING DEBUT: WE ARE TORTURED BY SPECULATION
So many questions (4/17a)
THE COUNT: COACHELLA, FROM THE COUCH
The coziest way to experience the fest (4/19a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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