MISFIRING GUNS, CLOWNTIME ISN’T OVER, BEATLES NOT FOR SALE

A WHOLE LOTTA FAKING GOIN’ ON
Guns N' Roses has canceled its entire European tour, which was set to kick off June 1 in Nuremberg, Germany. The band's European management agency claims that guitarist Buckethead has suffered from brain hemorrhaging, and has missed rehearsals while doctors run tests to determine the cause of the illness. However, some insiders claim the real reason is that GN’R frontman Axl Rose is in conflict with the band’s label, Interscope Geffen A&M. Apparently, Rose refused to promote the group's hotly anticipated CD, "Chinese Democracy," until he gets more studio time with the album. The band's first LP since 1993 is rumored to have cost around $10 million already, and has been deemed ready for a June release date.

In other GN’R news, con man John Harlin attempted to live out the rock and roll fantasy of being former band drummer Steven Adler for a few weeks. Harlin was recently charged with grand larceny after stealing a credit card from Adler and using it to rack up an estimated $14,000 in expenses last month, including a week’s stay at New York’s Morgan's Hotel. The hotel realized that Harlin was not the heavy metal superstar he claimed to be when he referred to the groupies being "classier than the crack whores I’m used to back home."

JUST CLOWNING AROUND
Looks like the feud between Eminem and the Insane Clown Posse is spreading to the bands’ fan bases. ICP road manager William Dail admitted to choking concert-goer Thomas P. Goonan and throwing him against the wall after the ICP’s show in Omaha’s Ranch Bowl on Tuesday night, though he denies Goonan’s claim that the fan lost consciousness. During the show, Goonan was seen waving an Eminem T-shirt and throwing M&M candy at the stage—an act which enraged Dail, whose brother Douglas is the ICP employee Eminem pulled a gun on last June in Royal Oak, MI. Goonan said he anticipated an unfavorable reaction from the Clowns’ camp, though he never expected to be choked. He feared they'd make him listen to the group's last two albums.

BEATLES NOT FOR SALE
Michael Jackson yesterday denied recent reports that he plans to sell his catalog of Beatles songs. Jackson bought the rights to about 200 Beatles songs in 1986 for over $47.5 million and merged it with Sony Music Publishing in 1995 for $100 million. The Gloved One said that the catalog "is not for sale, has not been for sale, and never will be for sale. But I am willing to listen to offers for the Elephant Man's bones."