LARGE MEMBERS, LOSING RELIGION, KEITH’S KOOL, NSYNC ON THE LINE, ETC., ETC.
Occasional Missing Persons/Duran Duran guitarist Warren Cuccurullo is reportedly putting his dick on the table for a new venture, said to be called RockCock. The business plan goes something like this: By dipping his wick in a fudgy confection, Cuccurullo will create both chocolate molds and 3D effigies in his own image for sale to a salivating public. He’s said to be recruiting other rockers to join in, but all we know for sure is that those on a diet should look for the itty-bitty HITS version…
RELIGION, INTERRUPTED
The members of Bad Religion have posted a letter on their website informing fans that upcoming European tour dates will be postponed. The unfortunate reason for the delay, apparently, is an unspecified "career-ending" shoulder injury suffered by drummer Bobby Schayer. The band says it has "lost one of the truly great punk drummers of all time" and is busy working through its grief by opening a new can of tub-thumpers and rehearsing for a new album.
KEITH OUT OF KOOLER
Island Def Jam Music Group President Lyor Cohen has announced the signing of pioneering rapper Keith Murray to Def Jam Records. Murray, was recently released from prison after serving half of a five-year sentence stemming from an altercation with promoter David Hughes. Murray’s attorney reportedly uncovered witness tampering in the case and established that Murray was wrongly convicted, leading to his release. Now that he’s beat the rap, he’s set to rap to the beat once more.
NO SALESMAN WILL CALL
But one of the five members of NSYNC will, thanks to a novel promotion cooked up by Jive, Best Buy and Sam Goody to promote the band’s new album, "Celebrity," due July 24. Fans who pre-order the album online will receive an email containing a link to register for a phone message from the boys in the band. As an added bonus, those same fans will have the option of letting the call go straight to voicemail or an answering machine. Of course, they also have the option of going to iMesh or Limewire for the album, but who’s counting?
HOMER’D BE PROUD
In preparation for the release of a new album, "A Funk Odyssey" on September 11, Epic’s Jamiroquai is taking the live act out of mothballs and preparing for a gig at Knebworth on August 11—its first UK show in two years. No word if the Ministry of Sound, which is sponsoring the show, has yet persuaded the Queen Mother to do the Funky Chicken.
D DAY
Speaking of Epic, Tenacious D, the self-proclaimed "Greatest Band on Earth," will release its eponymous debut on September 25. Produced by the Dust Brothers, the album features guest appearances by Dave Grohl, Phish’s Page McConnell and others. The band hits the road this fall. No word if Tenacious D has yet persuaded the Queen Mother to do the Funky Chicken. Oops, wrong shitty joke.
