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MUSICAL SUSPECTS, ROUNDED UP FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE

This Week’s Music Roundup Waits Patiently In The Restaurant’s Parking Lot For You To Return

SCAR FACES CHARGES
Rapper Matthew "Scar" Allen, reportedly linked to the high-profile Puffy-Shyne shooting trial, faces unrelated federal gun possession charges for allegedly pulling a pistol on the driver of a car that cut him off. Off-duty Detective Juan Toranzo said in court papers that he saw a Honda Accord speed past Allen's Range Rover, causing it to spin out of control and hit a divider. He added the driver of the Range Rover, allegedly Allen, chased down the Honda and pointed a gun at its driver for a few seconds before driving away. In 1999, the nightclub shooting involving Combs and Shyne allegedly began when Allen and members of Combs' entourage got into a fight. "I thought it was Jay-Z," Allen reportedly said. "When I realized Jigga wouldn’t be driving a Honda, I drove off. My bad."

BONO POPS HELMS’ CHERRY
At 79, Sen. Jesse Helms (R-NC), known for his conservative positions on abortion, gay rights and federal funding for the arts, attended his first rock concert after friend Bono invited him to a U2 show in Washington. The unlikely pair struck up a friendship last fall when the singer lobbied the senator on international debt relief. Helms said he was impressed with the Bono's stamina, the band’s performance and the attendance. "I enjoyed the band’s message," Helms said, "particularly the pro-NRA stance of ‘Bullet the Blue Sky’ and that one song about PAC money, ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.’"

ANOTHER MUSICAL THEORY PROVEN
The free Pennywise concert scheduled for Tuesday (6/19) to promote their "Land of the Free?" album in the parking lot of Tower Records on the Sunset Strip has been banned by police, allegedly because of the combative nature of the group's new single, "Fuck Authority." Launch.com reports that a spokesperson for the punk group said the city of West Hollywood "has decided that the band's song, 'Fuck Authority,' is offensive and cannot be performed on their city street," despite the band having already attained the proper permits for the show. No confirmation that Pennywise will now perform at Ralph’s Record Rack in Compton, where California police could care less.

AND, YES, IT IS THE ROCKIN’ PNEUMONIA
Rock 'n' Roll legend Jerry Lee Lewis has been hospitalized with a recurring bout of pneumonia. The 65-year-old Lewis checked into a hospital Friday (6/15) is recovering and reportedly in good spirits. No confirmation that Lewis proposed to the 14-year-old candy striper on duty.

NEAR TRUTHS: SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/28a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/28a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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