BERTELSMANN SALES UP 39%

U.S. consumer confidence is up and the market is on the rise—it's a beautiful day for financial news, unless you get a paycheck from hitsdailydouble.com.

In a note to investors, Bertelsmann AG said its sales in the first half of fiscal 2001 rose 39%. The closely held company noted that sales in the six months ended last December were 10.4 billion euros, or $9.3 billion. That's up from 7.5 billion euros ($6.7 billion) for the same period the previous year. And you thought you'd never use yer abacus again.

Bertelsmann's investments climbed over the year before, from 381 million euros ($339 mil) to 1.4 billion ($1.24 billion). Investments were primarily in film licensing rights for pan-European broadcasting group RTL's channels and in acquisitions by printing unit Gruner + Jahr (publishers of Rosie!) in the U.S.

Last month, Bertlesmann traded Groupe Bruxelles Lambers SA 25% of its shares and the option to sell Bertelsmann shares to the public in exchange for GBL's (as it's known to friends) 30% stake in RTL Group and a player to be named later. Bertelsmann now controls 67% of RTL, which is a lot better than controlling 66%, or so our broker tells us.

The RTL Group was created last April by the merger of the broadcasting interests of three of Europe's largest media companies: the UK-based publishing group Pearson, Bertelsmann and Audiofina, a holding company controlled by Belgian financier Albert Frere. All are now considering liquidating and putting all their cash in pork bellies and glow lights.