"MY VH1" Categories, VH1/Vogue Nominees Announced
While so-called "experts" may explain today's stock market gains in light of the Federal Reserve cutting interest rates to the lowest level in almost 40 years, sources inside my head confirm that it was all due to VH1's dual awards show announcements. Indeed, Dubya has asked the network to schedule a feel-good display of celebrities in tuxes and gowns until this darn recession is over.

If the age of irony is indeed history, who knows what to make of the 2001 VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards, slated for N.Y.'s Hammerstein Ballroom Oct. 23. (Hey, that's my birthday. If you're having trouble with what to get me, click here, here or here for ideas.) Hosts for the seventh annual awards, which mixes rock stars and models in a Zoolander kinda way—minus the "comedy"—will be announced shortly. Alicia Keys, Lenny Kravitz and John Mellencamp will perform, while those scheduled to present include Gwen Stefani, Salma Hayek, Lil' Kim, P. Diddy, Courtney Love, Nelly Furtado and others who read Vogue looking for the occasional flash of a model's aureola.

Categories for the Awards include Sharply Dressed Man, Model of the Year, Stylish Group, Best Dressed Television Show, Most Accurate Isaac Mizrahi impression and other shallow categories designed to make viewers feel as if they are part of the glamour of the record and fashion worlds.

The pretense for the second annual My VH1 Awards, slated for Dec. 2 at L.A.'s Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles is that nominees, winners and even the categories themselves, are to be chosen by viewers at VH1.com. Executive Producers Jay Karas and Andee Kuroda and Executive Producers for VH1 Fred Graver and Lee Rolontz are either really lazy or geniuses. Damn, this Internet thing might just happen.

This year's categories include: "Is It Hot In Here, Or Is It Just My Video?," "Best Kept Secret," "Your Song Kicked A** But Was Played Too Damn Much," "Must-Have Album," "Visionary Video," "Navel Academy (given to the year's best performance by a bellybutton in a video)," "Best Actor in a Video" and other equally nifty ideas.

Viewers have until Oct. 24 to narrow down nominees to five in each category. Voting continues right up to the moment that each award is presented. The host and musical guests will be announced later, which is good because announcing a host now might take the focus off of what's really important. For VH1, a return to normalcy is a return to awards shows.