NO ORDINARY JOEL

If it’s the 2001 MTV Movie Awards (taping June 2 at the Shrine Auditorium in L.A. and airing on the channel June 7 at 9 p.m.), then it must be time for producer Joel Gallen’s annual chat with HITS Editor In Exile and E! Entertainment geek David Adelson.

How old are you now, Joel?
I’m 42.

Have you ever really had a functional, caring relationship with a woman?
Will you stop it? In the past, you waited until the second half of the interview to start asking those kinds of questions.

Seriously.
Um… Two years ago. I’m not doing this. I gotta go.

Has the fact that you’re a Hollywood player helped shape your personal life?
No, because I’m not that way. I definitely work a lot, but I love the work I do. I am the furthest thing from a power player or, as you call it, "a Hollywood type."

But you date a lot of women.
I date as many as you have.

Are you dating someone now?
I have dated someone recently.

How did that go?
OK. But I really have no time to date because I’m in the middle of producing the MTV Movie Awards and editing my movie at the same time.

What movie is that?
I just directed my first feature. The working title is "The Last Teen Movie." It’s from Columbia Pictures and tentatively coming out late this year.

Do you anticipate getting even more women now?
I haven’t really thought about it. I just hope people like the movie and think it’s funny. It’s a cast of relative unknowns.

Did you date anyone in the cast?
No! It’s a high school movie! These girls were 18-20 years old.

No offense, but your reputation suggests that wouldn’t be an impediment.
I don’t know where that reputation started. It must have come from one of the HITS columns. Can we get to the MTV Movie Awards please?

What are you, the director?
I’m the producer of the show and I direct the short films. This’ll be my seventh year in a row and the ninth year I’ve done it out of 10.

Have you gotten dates as a result?
I have never gotten a date as a result of any job in this business.

Bull!
I’m telling the truth. I’ve dated people in this business, but I’ve never gotten a date because of a show, project or film that I’m doing. Can we talk about the MTV Movie Awards now?

All right, if you insist.
Jimmy Fallon from SNL and Kirsten Dunst are co-hosting. We have that whole "Lady Marmalade" thing with Christina, Lil’ Kim, Pink and Mya, along with Dave Matthews Band and Weezer. It’s the only place they’re performing together.

How much are you making a year now?
Less than you.

Come on, Joel.
How much does E! pay you? A little bit less than you.

This interview’s gone quite well.
I definitely have a sense of deja vu. Same questions. Same answers.