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"The first thing that I'm gonna do when I get out of here is take an hour-long bath."
—--Suge Knight

MUSIC NEWS: LOADED AND
IN YOUR WAISTBAND

Jay-Z's Busted, Suge Makes Plans, Movie Awards Loom, Madonna Tours, Gay Music Gets Louder
JAY-Z IN GUN TROUBLE
Talk about bad timing. Three days before Jay-Z was due in court to face charges that he stabbed record executive Lance "Un" Rivera, the rapper was arrested Friday (4/13) when police allegedly found a loaded gun in his bodyguard's waistband. New York police pulled over a car carrying three passengers, including the superstar MC, and driven by bodyguard Hamza Hewitt. Police allegedly found a Glock in Hewitt's pants, prompting the arrest of all of the passengers. "At least I wasn’t on a scooter," Jay-Z commented later. "That’s wack."

KNIGHT AND DAY
Rap mogul Marion "Suge" Knight said his first stop after serving a five-year prison stint will be a hot tub. "The first thing that I'm gonna do when I get out of here is take an hour-long bath,'' said Knight, co-founder of Death Row Records. "Then, I'm going to get me a double cheeseburger and some chili-cheese fries." Newsweek reports that Knight will be released within the next few days from Mule Creek State Prison after serving five years of a nine-year sentence. Knight's pal Roy Trakin will urge the newly liberated mogul to folow up his chili-cheese fries by splitting an order of linguini and clam sauce with him.

MOVIES, SHMOVIES—BRING ON THAT DREAMY
CHRIS CONNELLY
This year’s MTV Movie Awards will be held June 2 at L.A.’s Shrine Auditorium and are slated to air on the music channel on June 7. For the tenth time around, as usual, the awards will feature celebrity performances, appearances and presenters for the show’s unconventional categories including Best Villain, Best Kiss, Best Fight, and the four new categories; Favorite Line, Best Dressed, Best Cameo and Best Music Moment. HITS will probably be snubbed yet again in the Best Kiss category, despite our stellar work on your butt. Who’ll be hosting? We don’t know. Who’ll be presenting? Don’t know that, either. Who’s nominated? Sorry, haven’t a clue. What we do know is that Joel Gallen returns as the executive producer—along with MTV’s Salli Frattini—and that Rick Austin will produce. We also know that nominees and winners are chosen by MTV and MTV2 viewers, who can vote in MTV’s traditional categories from April 24, when the nominees are announced, to May 10 via a 900 number (75 cents per call—ka-ching) or online. The channel’s website, www.mtv.com, is currently accepting nominations for the new categories, but those nominees won’t be announced until May 23. Don’t bother to ask us why; we just sleep here.

MADONNA FLOATS "DROWNED"
Okay, we're gonna need everybody to calm down if we're going to announce these Madonna summer dates. That's right, the "Drowned World Tour" kicks off June 5 in Cologne, Germany and hits Barcelona, Berlin, Paris, London and other Euro-hotspots before its Stateside leg, which commences 7/21 at Philly's First Union Center, proceeds to Madison Square Garden on 7/25 and hits Boston, D.C., Miami, Detroit, Vegas and other mostly major markets before wrapping up at L.A.'s Staples Center on 9/9. And by all means, stop by the Kabbalah booth after the show.

IT’S HERE, IT’S FILLER, GET USED TO IT
In the time-honored tradition of lumping stuff together based on a superficial connection, here’s some gay music news—no, we mean openly gay. Self-described "Illest homo thug out the N-Y-C" Caushun has been busy lately, what with his "Ooh, Who Dat Be?" (Ghetto Fabulous) track getting some radio action and controversy-starved media outlets from MTV to the L.A. Times picking up his story. "I’d like to broaden people’s minds where gays are concerned," reads a quote from the MC. He’s got his work cut out for him in a genre packed with murderously homophobic rhymes. But his dreadful grammar sends a nice message to the kids. In other ill homo thug news, the soundtrack album for the envelope-pushing cable series "Queer As Folk" will be, er, coming out on RCA Victor. The dance-heavy disc will feature tracks from Kristine W, Mint Royale, Love Inc. and other artists our ultra-hip readers already know all about. And if you’re dying to buy the CD and meet the show’s cast, dash over to the L.A. Virgin Megastore on Friday, April 27 at 7pm.

REPUBLIC UPS GOLDSTEIN, ROPPO TO CO-PRESIDENTS
Team Lipman doubles up. (11/26a)
MAYBE, JUST MAYBE:
HOLIDAY CHEER IS HERE
Season's bleatings (11/23a)
COUNTRY GRAMMYS' ROOTS ARE SHOWING
Deck the Grammys with boughs of Holly. (11/24a)
THE BRITISH
ARE COMING
Rolling out our U.K. Special print issue (11/24a)
AND THE GRAMMY NOMINEES ARE...
Olivia, the Biebs, H.E.R., Doja Cat, Billie and Jon Batiste lead the way. (11/24a)
TURKEY
Basting.
STUFFING
Stuffing.
YAMS
Candying.
PUMPKIN PIE
Stuffing (in face).
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