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51% believe there is a perfect woman, while 7% feel they’re dating her and 3% claim they’ve dumped her.

BRITNEY IN GEAR

Spears Embodies Perfect Woman For Guccione Readers, Topping Zazu Pitts, Carol Burnett, Phyllis Diller
Gotta hand it to that Bob Guccione Jr. He sure knows how to put his finger on the pulse of the public.

The Gear publisher’s magazine's "Search for the Perfect Woman Poll" has named singer Britney Spears as the person who most embodies the perfect woman. Gee, and we thought it was going to be RuPaul.

The poll was conducted on the band’s website, www.gearmagazine.com, to find out what their readers, 86% of them male, thought about female perfection.

Spears received 12% of the vote, followed by Jennifer Aniston (11%), Julia Roberts (9%), Natalie Portman (9%), Lucy Liu (5%), Giselle (3%), Naomi Campbell (3%), My Mother (hey, you can't talk about our Mother that way) (2%), Peta Wilson (1%) and Someone Else (46%). Now who is this Someone Else and where can we meet her?

51% believe there is a perfect woman, while 7% feel they’re dating her and 3% claim they’ve dumped her. As to what makes the perfect woman, 23% said "ability to see beyond my faults," 18% "a sense of humor," 13% breasts (yes, must have them), 12% smile, 10% intelligence, 9% butt, 6% legs, 4% kiss, 2% bank account, 2% record collection and a whopping 1% said penis.

Record collection? You mean there are actually closet "High Fidelity" fans out there?

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TURKEY
Basting.
STUFFING
Stuffing.
YAMS
Candying.
PUMPKIN PIE
Stuffing (in face).
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