PLAYING BY JA RULES!

Everybody was right.

"Ja Rule absolutely ruled this week," said Mike Fuller of Hastings, proving that retailers should neither be seen nor heard. "The pre-release buzz surrounding this release was deafening. It was a great setup by the label, which obviously paid off handsomely."

Um, Mike…booooooring. Thank you. We just needed to say that.

As you might have gathered from Mikey's spew, Ja Rule (Murder Inc./Def Jam/IDJ) debuted at #1 on the HITS Top 50 Albums chart (one of six Universal Music Group releases in this week's Top 10) virtually crushing all the competition. It wasn't even close.

"Me say more purdy words now?" queried Fuller, gently brushing a wad of drool from his prosthetically enhanced chin.

Of course, it wasn't just Ja. Interscope's Wallflowers came in at #9, while Reprise's Orgy barely missed a Top 10 bow at #11. The two bands keep the rock torch burning following last week's 1-2 debuts by Radiohead (#13 this week) and Green Day (#12).

"Them make boom-boom noise," said Fuller, attempting to remove a staple which he'd inadvertently lodged in his forehead.

But wait, kiddies, here comes next week's chart, where it's all about Flip/Interscope's Limp Bizkit, which hit the streets today. And, just 'cause we know you all want excitement, this wacky little release comes complete with its own wacky little retail war. For more details on that, see related hitsdailydouble.com story.