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"It’s now after Labor Day, and you know what that means."
—Hastings’ Mike Fuller

SUMMER RERUN TIME!

A Sales Story To Tide You Over Until Next Week’s Fall-Season Hype
Do these names sound familiar: Nelly, Britney, Eminem, "NOW 4" Creed, 3 Doors Down, NSYNC and Papa Roach? Thought so. They comprise eight of this week's Top 10, eight of last week's Top 10 and eight of the Top 10 for pretty much the entire summer. Are we having fun yet? Actually, no. Yawn.

In fact, you wacky kids of summer, it's a good thing Roc-A-Fella/IDJ's DJ Clue Presents debuted at #6 on this week's Top 50 Album chart—otherwise Hastings' Mike Fuller wouldn't be able to throw down such brilliant quotes as the following:

"We saw a solid first-week debut from DJ Clue Presents this week."

Wheeedoggie! Move over, Sir John Gielgud. Does this guy talk purdy or what?

Of course, it wouldn't be the third quarter without another dominant week by Fo' Reel/Universal's Nelly, who maintained his solid hold on the top spot.

"Nelly continues to put up some great numbers as we inch toward a fourth quarter that looks like it's going to be phenomenal. We surely hope so, because it's been a fairly quiet summer," said Fuller as he pondered a career in rocket science.

Rounding out this week's Top Five are Britney, Eminem, Creed and 3 Doors Down.

Besides DJ Clue Presents, other Top 10ers this week include "NOW 4" at #7, NSYNC at #8, Papa Roach at #9 and the "Coyote Ugly" ST at #10. Yaaawwwwwnnn.

"It's now after Labor Day, and you know what that means," said Fuller, as he touched himself inappropriately while watching reruns of "Survivor."

In a related story, UCLA and Notre Dame are back in the Top 25 after winning their season openers.

Note: If this chart story looks familiar, it's because we copied last week's story, right down to the semiliterate retail quotes, changing as few words as possible. Next week: several more new words (we hope).

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THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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