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DOT COMEDY

Turning Digital Hype Into Digital Hypnosis

MR. MICROPHONE GOES DIGITAL
Cleverly named International Internet Inc. announced that its subsidiary BroadcastWeb Network will be selling AKOO's KIMA device. Besides being spelled in all caps, the KIMA allows users to send Internet audio "virtually anywhere at anytime." (Given the interchangeability of the words "virtual" and "online," we're assuming they mean "almost anywhere.") The device sends audio wirelessly from PCs to any stereo or portable radio within 1,000 feet as well as digital audio delivered originally by satellite and cable companies. Expect to hear a comeback of the pickup line, "Hey, good-lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later."

OBLIGATORY MP3.COM NEWS
Literary rockers The Rock Bottom Remainders, a band that consists of authors Dave Barry, Stephen King, Ridley Pearson and Amy Tan, have placed songs up on MP3.com. "We're excited, blah-blah-blah," said Chairman and CEO michael robertson',390,400);">michael robertson',390,400);">Michael Robertson. "Damn, do I have to comment on every press release?" Money raised by the band goes to charities, including the Free The Rocker Within Group, an organization that encourages celebrities to play music simply because they're famous.

PAY ATTENTION, THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT NAPSTER
Soundom, the Internet music site that pays users who listen to music and pays royalties to artists, has signed a licensing deal with SpinRecords.com offering unlimited downloads to users for $5 per month. For some reason, the release says the companies are putting a new "spin" on the Napster controversy. Now if only they'd pay us to read their press releases.

DOLLARS AND NONSENSE
According to the National Retail Federation and Forrester Research, Inc., in conjunction with Greenfield Online, online spending during the month of July increased by less than 1% to $4.03 billion. Traditionally, this is the slow time of the year for retailers, as consumers are saving up heir money for KIMOs and waiting for SDMI-compliant devices to be more widely available.

SOME GOOD NEWS, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE'RE ALL ABOUT
Marillion, perhaps the finest of 1980s-era prog revival bands, with rabid fans who won't tolerate a single word of dissent, has shown that bands can make money online. The group is making a new album after raising nearly $150,000 by getting fans to pre-pay for the record. The band will release its 12th album through Liberty, part of the EMI Group. It is expected to be a concept album about the trials and tribulations of cashing 300,000 checks for half a dollar each.

NEW RELEASES: ELTON, LDR AND MO' MONEY
"Lockdown" and Lana. (10/25a)
HITS LIST, FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION
Grammy-themed, just like our latest print magazine. (10/25a)
NEAR TRUTHS: ROLLING
IN THE STREAMS
Audiences embrace Adele regardless of the platform. (10/25a)
KAREN KWAK TO LEAD
WARNER A&R
Aaron's latest hire. (10/25a)
ON THE COVER:
OLIVIA RODRIGO
Can you hear the Grammy buzz? (10/25a)
ADELE ADELE ADELE
Adele; Adele Adele?
ADELE ADELE ADELE ADELE ADELE ADELE
A... dele?
ADELE ADELE
Adele Adele; Adele.
ADELE ADELE ADELE ADELE
(Adele.)
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