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"RealSystem iQ is another big step forward toward our longstanding goal of turning the Internet into the next great mass medium."
——Real's Rob Glaser
DOT DOT DOT COM
Only Ten Tech Roundups Until Xmas

PASS THE CATALOG AND THE LIME
Sony Music Entertainment is getting a Latin flavor. The music giant has inked a deal with Ritmoteca, which humbly describes itself as the first and largest digital source for Latin music. Ritmoteca will feature a Sony Music Lounge with artists like Gloria Estefan, Jennifer Lopez, Jon Secada and Jaci Velasquez. The site is available in English, Spanish and Portugese. Said Sony SVP Al Smith: "Sony Music Entertainment is pleased to be working with Ritmoteca to provide their community access to music from their favorite music artists. More importantly, I'm told this deal will help me get next to the hoochie mamas from Ricky Martin's videos."

KEEPING IT REAL CRYPTIC
RealNetworks is introducing its RealSystem IQ technology. The system is designed to increase the reliability of Internet broadcasts, allow delivery to a larger audience and provide flexibility and cost-effectiveness for media delivery network deployments. Still awake? Damn, you're good. RealSystem IQ is being implemented by content-delivery networks used by iBEAM, Adobe Systems, Avid Technologies, IBM and Sun Microsystems. Said Chairman/CEO Rob Glaser: "RealSystem iQ is another big step forward toward our longstanding goal of turning the Internet into the next great mass medium. By enabling peer-to-peer networks of streaming servers, RealSystem iQ results in Internet broadcasts that are smarter, faster and simply better—and it sets the stage for digital media delivery to become a true mass phenomenon. Or, to put it lay terms: Me, me, me, me, me."

GIVE THAT MAN A PULITZER
Ever wonder what really goes on behind the scenes at Amazon.com? Credit Suisse First Boston analyst Jamie Kiggen went undercover at the e-tailer's Delaware distribution center. In case you can't wait for the sizzling USA Networks docudrama, we'll tell you what happened. "While our presence there suggests the hiring process could be tightened up a bit," Kiggen told the Financial Times, "we were struck by the high level of energy and morale among warehouse management and workers alike." Kiggen added that the company could exceed Q4 revenue estimates of $1 billion. Kiggen had attempted an incognito stint at hitsdailydouble.com, but backed out upon learning that sitting on Roy Trakin's lap is part of the interview process.

LOST AND FOUNDRY
Digital media marketer Sonic Foundry is selling its syndication business to Carsey-Werner Distribution LLC. The letter of intent gives Sonic Foundry a minority stake in the Carsey-Werner business unit, which will focus on streaming video content across electronic distribution channels. Carsey-Werner, a leading television distributor, is responsible for such programming as "The Cosby Show," "Third Rock From The Sun" and "That '70s Show." The company is currently planning a wacky sitcom in which Sonic Foundry software shares an apartment with a neurotic gay writer and a yak with Tourette's Syndrome.

THE FIRST STEP TO BUILDING COM-FIDENCE
In spin designed to appease stockholders, er, exciting online news, MP3.com announced overall "operational metrics" increases in the month of November. The netco reported an increase in the number of approved artists and songs catalogued at MP3.com in addition to a 6% increase in unique visitors and number of listens. Listens, up almost five million or 2%, were calculated on a per-play basis, so the increase could be due to Marc Pollack's 4,706,014 repetitions of "Itty Bitty Titties" by the Honky Tonk Jukebox Band.

TECHING MORE UPPERS
Music.com
has reported some increases, too. The music portal's online traffic increased since its re-launch in October, and its new and improved site reported a spike of 31% in time spent on the site. No word yet on how much of that was a result of users nodding off at their keyboards. In even more riveting news, there was a run on tapioca at the local Piggly Wiggly.

NEW WORD TO LOATHE: "WEBEO"
Entertainment content and digital animation provider Brilliant Digital Entertainment has introduced its first Brilliant Animated Music (BAM) Internet video. The new video format combines music with full-motion, interactive, streaming 3D animation online. The companies first Web-video, or webeo, features DreamWorks band The Long Beach Dub Allstars' "Saw Red" and can be seen at artistDIRECT and at the label and BDE Web sites. Brilliant Digital has also agreed to produce webeos for Def Jam artists Ja Rule, Ludacris and Jay-Z. In a related story, we're thinking of spinning off our own animation unit, Retarded Digital Entertainment.

MUCH BETTER CHOICE
Digital music programmer Music Choice has partnered with concert Webcaster and cable channel Live Music Channel for Music Choice's OnStage concert series. The series will now be broadcast weekly beginning in January. The OnStage concert series is a one-hour show featuring live performance clips and artist interviews. Noted one principal at Music Choice, "We look forward to being driven out of business by Webcast licensing fees and returning to our former passion: earthworm farming."

TUNED TO YOUR INNERMOST THOUGHTS AND…
Internet radio company TuneTo.com has announced a new wireless streaming technology that promises to deliver clear audio over current wireless networks. The system currently works with the AT&T and Verizon Web-interfaced cellular networks, though TuneTo aspires to offer the streaming application for higher-bandwidth networks. The new technology will be featured at the Streaming Media West convention in San Jose this week, which could help compensate for the outrageous shortage of hookers.

FANS WILLING AND ABEL TO RALLY ROUND THE WEEKND
Dept. of unintended consequences (12/1a)
VAUGHN'S FIRST MOVE: MATTERA TO THE TOWER
A company with no corner offices (12/1a)
U.K. MEET THE MANAGERS
Who's hot in Blighty? (12/1a)
RON PERRY: SUPERCHARGING THE BIG RED MACHINE
Hoodie man doin' work (12/1a)
SPOTIFY GIFT-WRAPS
THE YEAR IN MUSIC
How Swede it is. (12/1a)
RAINMAKERS 2020
Bring your umbrella.
GRAMMY OUTLIERS
Mulling possible surprises.
ZOOM THANKSGIVING
We're virtually stuffing ourselves.
TRUMP'S LAWSUITS
He's lost 25 out of 26, and so tired of winning!
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