KEEP ON ROCKIN’ IN A
FAT-FREE WORLD

As Table Scraps Are To A Full Meal, So These Stories Are To Real Music News

NOT-SO-LUCKY STAR
Thieves broke into Madonna's London home and then stole her boyfriend's Range Rover. The singer, her two children and film director Guy Ritchie were asleep upstairs when the burglars struck. "A number of items were stolen including a set of car keys, which were then used to steal the Range Rover," a police spokeswoman said. "The vehicle was later recovered in west London and forensic testing will be carried out on it." Madonna recently said she preferred living in London to Los Angeles because she felt safer in the British capital.

THE BEST PART OF BREAKING UP
British pop stars Robbie Williams and Liam Gallagher have ended their long-running feud, according to U.K. tabloid the Daily Sun. "We've patched up our differences," Williams said. "I don't really want to go into it but we've had a chat and come to the conclusion it had got really silly." Williams added, "Even so, everyone knows I could kick his gay arse."

STAND BY YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS
William Cox, a research assistant at UPMC Presbyterian Hospital in Pittsburgh, was sentenced to six months in a detention facility for selling the medical records of late country legend Tammy Wynette to the National Enquirer and Star magazines. Cox allegedly used a doctor's password to download confidential details of the singer's medical condition from the hospital's database and then sold the info to the tabloids for about $2,600. Cox's moneymaking scheme ran aground when he later tried to sell photos of Loretta Lynn's bunion removal surgery and Charlie Pride's colonoscopy.

MINE AND YOURS
Emmylou Harris, Steve Earle, Nanci Griffith, Mary Chapin Carpenter, John Prine and Bruce Cockburn will deliver a series of concerts to help raise public awareness of land mines. The Concerts For A Landmine Free World tour was scheduled to begin Saturday (12/2) in Stamford, CT, and will hit five cities in the Northeast. Proceeds will be used to support the group's political campaign and its rehabilitation clinics for people injured by mines. There are between 60 million and 80 million active land mines in the world. Skeptics said that to raise awareness of any cause, event organizers would be better served asking musicians who are recognized themselves.

HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/17a)
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a)
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a)
THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS
Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a)
STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs
A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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