SHAGGY: THIS DOG IS GONE!

Sure, he's already topped our album chart once during this still-embryonic year, and radio listeners can't scan the FM band without hearing at least one of his smash singles—but it seems like things are just now REALLY kicking in for MCA's Shaggy, whose "Hotshot" sits atop the HITS Top 50.

"Shaggy has been hot with us since its release last year," said Newbury Comics' Beth Dube "Doobie Doo," who is still getting over the heartbreak of losing Barry Diller to Diane Von Furstenberg. "It's dominated what has been a relatively light release schedule this year."

So why is the Shag-man so dang hot? Try the singles "It Wasn't Me" and "Angel," both of which are so huge and in such heavy rotation that several chainwide consultants may actually think it's "safe" to play them in certain dayparts ("But be careful you don't alienate the important ‘unmarried female midgets 24-45' demo!"). The two singles were first aired on a trio of Hawaiian radio stations before breaking through all over the mainland.

"WJMN was playing it early and often," said Dube as she longingly stared at a glossy photo of her new love interest, U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft. "We didn't really have to wait for the single to explode—it was already huge."

Of course, it's not just Shaggy. Hollywood's monster "Save The Last Dance" will not back down, rising to the #2 spot behind another stellar week of moviegoer madness.

"Ah, the power of MTV," said Dube, as she hung up her lifesize poster of new Isaeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon. "This one is not going to go away anytime soon."

Rounding out the Top 5 are #3 Jennifer Lopez (Epic), #4 Beatles (Capitol) and the resurgent Ja Rule (Murder Inc./Def Jam/IDJ), who goes 11-5. The highest debut of the week belongs to #9 LeAnn Rimes (Curb), who was so thrilled she kicked over a chair, smashed her fist through a plate-glass window and slapped the hell out of a small child.

"Sounds like she has issues with her father," said an acclaimed child psychologist, who chose to remain anonymous.