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THERE AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A REPUBLICAN PARTY

Yup, They're Putting The "Party" Back in "GOP"
The 2000 Republican National Convention kicks off Monday (7/31) in Philadelphia and it looks to be the hottest entertainment value since, well, the 1996 Convention. As the party of Lincoln, Eisenhower and Goldwater comes together and present a unified front in support of the Bush/Cheney ticket, in addition to the usual entertainment of gin and whores they will also be engrossed by the talents of stars such as Bo Derek, "film icon and star of the 1979 comedy ‘10'," according to the Party's party press release.

Also scheduled to appear: Brooks and Dunn, the Delfonics, Lee Greenwood, the Interpreters, Chaka Khan, Jon Secada, Jimmie Vaughan, Hank Williams Jr. and more! Under the more category is Regular Joe, a "rock act" featuring U.S. Rep. Joe Scarbourgh (R-FL). Apparently a Nielsen/Pearson reunion isn't in the cards.

If the quote from Andy Card, 2000 Republican National Convention General Co-Chairman is any indication of the out of control fun to be expected, Republicans are in for the most fun they've had since, well, the 1996 Convention.

"This convention is not only going to be historic and informative; it's also going to be extremely entertaining. We've got a unique celebrity lineup that will bridge generations and keep people on the edge of their seats, wondering what will happen next. And wondering if the boredom will ever end."

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