NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

Amid the whole kiddie kraze, the Rap phenomenon, the Rap/Rock phenomenon and the well-established fickle loyalties of the music-buying public, there were some questions about the return of No Doubt. Could the one-time poster children for the Orange County ska movement still pack a commercial punch?

UnDoubtedly.

"No Doubt tops our charts this week with a record (‘Return Of Saturn') that looks every bit like a summer smash," guffawed Vince Szydlowski of Virgin Megastores, who was offered to Cuba in the place of Elian Gonzalez but was soundly rejected by the Castro regime because they thought his last name was the punch line of a tasteless Polish joke.

Indeed, Trauma/Interscope's multi-Platinum monsters scored an impressive #2 debut with sales just south of 200K.

"Sophomore projects can be iffy at best," said Szolidolofsky, cleverly ignoring the band's self-titled debut and "Beacon Street Collection" releases. "But the setup on No Doubt was strong, including the Jay Leno appearance on street date. Obviously their fan base hasn't forgotten them." Szisastopotsky then bought a vowel before declaring that the Internet might impact the music industry some time in the future.

Of course, it wasn't just about No Doubt. So So Def/Columbia's Da Brat had a massive first week with a #5 debut and sales over 130K. "Once again it's an amazing job by the Columbia Records Group," said Szokowaasky. "We had very solid first-week numbers by Da Brat, and we expect to see those strong sales continue."

In other news, No Doubt manager Jim Guerinot shot a whopping 112 in the recent Tom Whalley charity golf tournament. He's an ath-uh-lete.