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YOU CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC

You Can Only Hope To Contain It In Tiny,
Easy-To-Read News Bites

WHAT, NO "99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL"?
A group of songwriters chose The Beatles' "In My Life," off 1965's "Rubber Soul," as the greatest song ever written. The list was compiled from top ten lists submitted by 20 famous songwriters, including Paul McCartney, The Beach Boys' Brian Wilson, Jerry Leiber and Hal David. "In My Life" beat out The Rolling Stones' "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" and Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg's "Over The Rainbow" from "Wizard Of Oz." Rounding out the top five were "Tom Sawyer" by Rush and "Two Bitches" by Too Short.

COMEDY, THY NAME IS BRITNEY
Oh, the zany life on the road. In response to the British tabloids' report that Britney Spears was engaged to NSYNC's Justin Timberlake, Spears' crew decorated her tour bus with strings of cans and a big "Just Married" sign. Later, the crew was equally hilarious with hours and hours of Ding-Dong-Ditch-‘Em and by calling a bowling alley employee and asking him if he had 16-pound balls.

CHARITIES ARE ALL THE RAGE
Rage Against The Machine
announced that it will record its three-night run at San Francisco's legendary Fillmore for the band's first-ever live album. The July 25-28 shows will be turned around for a November release on Epic Records. Rumors that the album will contain the group's rockin' version of "Look For The Union Label" went unconfirmed at presstime.

SHARING CHER
If you could turn back time, you would have a bigger window of opportunity to respond to this exciting announcement. The Cher Convention 2000 takes place in Chicago this weekend, July 14-15, at the Congress Plaza Hotel and Convention Center!!! Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? According to the press release, the convention will feature the three M's: music, movies and memorabilia. But most importantly it will feature an "opportunity to meet others who share the belief that Cher is one of the greatest modern entertainers." Normally to do that, you would have to go all the way to a drag show in your hometown.

ALONG CAME JONES
Alamo adds a COO. (1/13a)
VISUAL ARTISTS HONOR INTERSCOPE
A feast for the senses (1/14a)
GRAMMYS IN APRIL?
(NO FOOLIN')
Vegas, baby. (1/12a)
COACHELLA LINEUP: HARRY, YE, BILLIE AND THE WHOLE THING
The poster has been printed. (1/13a)
UTA: A YEAR OF MOMENTUM
Agency reshuffles the deck. (1/14a)
I DON'T WANNA WORK
I just wanna bang on my drum all day.
I HAVE A HANGOVER
I like to call it "2021."
I DON'T WANNA HAVE A MEETING
My Zoom backgrounds are all outdated.
I MISS CHRISTMAS
When's the next holiday that involves eggnog?
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