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DOT COMEDY

It May Not Be Pretty, But It Takes Up Less Space Than The Press Releases

HOW MANY ZEROS ARE THERE IN A MILLION?
Prodigy Communications Corporation, the nation's largest retail DSL ISP, reported second quarter revenues of $86.6 million, with net losses of $38.9 million, or 59 cents a share. The company has 246,000 DSL customers, who are all thrilled that they are all able to download spam really fast. Prodigy has 2.6 million subscribers, all of whom can't wait for the follow-up to "The Fat of the Land."

BIG MONEY, BIG MONEY…WAMMY AWARDS
Gavin's Academy of Digital Music Arts and Sciences announced its First Annual Wammy Awards nominees. (This is not to be confused with the Washington Area Music Awards a.k.a., the Wammies, which have been given out in the nation's capitol for 15 years. Homonyms are fun!) The Awards "honor those individuals and organizations whose creativity and innovation have quickly made music the biggest mainstream category on the net." By "mainstream," they of course mean, "non-porn." Nominees for Web site of the year are Listen.com, MP3.com, MTV.com, Napster.com and RollingStone.com. The Awards will be held Sept. 21 at San Francisco's Palace of Fine Arts. Hitsdailydouble.com won't be invited, so tell us how it is.

ARE THEY STILL PUTTING OUT A MAGAZINE ?
Sure to be a nominee for all sorts of Web awards is the recently re-vamped Billboard site. Now that Billboard has a site maybe every one else will want one. Expect the same sort of clever commentary, brilliant insight and up-to-the-minute news you've come to expect from Billboard, only now with a dot-com at the end! Here's a quote from Ken Shlager, VP of Business Development for the Billboard Music Group: "Or goal is always to provide Web readers with valuable information on music in the most user-friendly fashion. That's why we provide lots of links to hitsdailydouble.com. Now when do we get our own Guy in the Goggles, instead of this bow tie wearing guy?"

SPEAKING OF GENIUSES
Garageband.com has hooked up with Limp Bizkit singer fred durst',390,400);">fred durst',390,400);">Fred Durst's vanity label, Flawless Records, to search for new bands. For the "Diamond in the Rough" contest, Garageband.com visitors vote for their favorite bands and 11 winners get to perform for Flawless folks close to Limp Bizkit tour dates. One group will get picked to open for Limp this fall and any of the 11 bands could get signed to Flawless. Creed is hoping to get out of its Wind Up deal in time to enter.

REVOLUTIONARY ANNOUNCEMENT
Online retailer 800.comhas hooked up with DiscoverMusic.com to allow its customers to preview music before purchasing CDs or cassettes (remember them?) This cutting-edge deal lets customers hear approximately five 30-second Real Audio song samples. You can already do that at Amazon, CDnow, Barnes and Noble.com and every other music e-store, so maybe this press release is five years old.

THIS IS ANOTHER STORY ABOUT ADELE BREAKING RECORDS
Big news from the Spot. (10/15a)
KACEYGATE: ESQUIRE EVISCERATES THE GRAMMYS
This is getting ridiculous (10/14a)
ADELE BY THE NUMBERS: ALBUMS, SINGLES RTD
It all adds up. (10/13a)
GRAMMY CHEW: A ROTY/SOTY PLAYLIST
(20 FOR 16)
Beer and Glickman collaborate on the Spot. (10/13a)
30 HAS A DATE
Your Thanksgiving weekend soundtrack (10/14a)
ADELE ADELE ADELE
Adele; Adele Adele?
ADELE ADELE ADELE ADELE ADELE ADELE
A... dele?
ADELE ADELE
Adele Adele; Adele.
ADELE ADELE ADELE ADELE
(Adele.)
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