INSANE CLOWN POSSE T-SHIRT VALIDATES TEENAGER’S RIGHTS

Ohio Teenager Wins Out-Of-Court Settlement Over Wrongful Confiscation Of Clown Posse T
It was bound to happen. The Insane Clown Posse and the First Amendment are being mentioned in the same sentence.

Ohio teenager Daniel Shellhammer, age 14, received a letter of apology and an out-of-court cash settlement after suing his local police for confiscating his Insane Clown Posse T-shirt.

Shellhammer, whose name would work well as the moniker for a teenage metal band, took legal action after officers made him fork over his Clown Posse T, which featured an image of Santa Claus with a bullet hole in his head and the words "Merry Fucking Xmas Bitch." According to Shellhammer, whose name could also be an obscure slang word for "penis," the police told him the group's merchandise was banned in the state.

Shellhammer's lawyer Andrew Gottlieb said the teen sued because he believed his First Amendment rights had been violated. "It was the content of the shirt as opposed to any conduct by Daniel," Gottlieb said, referring to Shellhammer, whose name is hard to type over and over again in a news story because it always looks misspelled. "That's an important distinction to make."

"It wasn't anything the kid did, or even what the shirt said," a spokesman for the police explained. "It was just that it was an Insane Clown Posse T-shirt. I mean, really. Even GWAR has more talent."

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