"We have a professional relationship. We don’t have a relationship outside of the band. We are not good at playing happy families."
—Noel Gallagher
Don’t Read Too Many Of These At Once Or You’ll Spoil Your Appetite For The Real Stories
According to British newspaper The Sun, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher has said his relationship with younger brother Liam—the egomaniacal singer of the band—could be irreconcilable but denied that he was breaking up the band. "We have a professional relationship," the elder Gallagher told the paper, "We don't have a relationship outside of the band. We are not good at playing happy families." Noel walked out on the band's European tour earlier this week, causing a cancellation of a handful of French gigs. Guitarist Matt Deighton will fill in for Gallagher for the remainder of the tour. Noel has vowed never to play with the band outside of the U.K. again, but denied that he is breaking up the band. Noel also denied that he and Liam would settle their differences "once and for all" with a WWF cage match…

Whitney Houston will not visit imprisoned husband Bobby Brown in a Florida jail, but will stand by him, she announced. Brown is in custody over an alleged probation violation. His case is not due to be heard until the middle of July. The couple has agreed that she should remain at their New Jersey home with daughter Bobbi. A spokeswoman for Whitney said: "They made a decision as a couple for her to be at home with their daughter. But she wants it to be known that she completely stands by and is supportive of her husband." Wonderers are wondering if she meant she was supportive of his alleged drug use, his alleged probation violation or his alleged drunk driving violation…

Former Cars bassist Benjamin Orr has been hospitalized in Atlanta with a growth on his pancreas. Derek St. Holmes, Orr's bandmate in the group Big People, has posted a message on his official Web site that says, "Ben Orr is awaiting diagnosis at Piedmont Hospital regarding a growth found on his pancreas." As a member of the Cars, Orr shared vocal duties with guitarist Ric Ocasek and played bass…

Yesterday (5/24), rapper and legal docket regular Sean "Puffy" Combs settled the civil suit filed against him as a result of a stampede during a 1991 charity basketball game held at City University of New York. Combs was a co-sponsor of the event at which 9 people were killed and 29 injured. The $2 million civil suit was filed by Nicole Levy, one of the injured. In 1998, a New York State Court ruled that the rapper, co-sponsor Heavy D and CUNY were partially responsible, claiming the event had been oversold and adequate security was not provided. Combs offered $50,000 to settle the case in 1999, but Levy refused. Details of the settlement were not released to the public, but Combs' attorney, Luke Pittoni, had this to say: "It remains clear that Nicole Levy's case is without merit." Her case may have been without merit, but it apparently wasn't without a decent dollar value…

The Beastie Boys have officially commented on the lawsuit filed against them by flutist James W. Newton. The B-Boys used a six-second sample of Newton's playing on the song "Pass The Mic" from the group's 1992 album, "Check Your Head." "We obtained and paid for all necessary clearances for this sample," said the Beasties' Mike D. "We dealt with ECM Records, the owner of the master recording, and lived up fully to the agreement we made with them." Newton doesn't dispute this point, instead claiming that ECM did not have the right to grant permission. Industry insiders are hoping the Boys can settle this case amicably, because there's nothing as frightening as an uppity flutist.

Are you free Wednesday afternoon? (11/12a)
How's that for a tease, Bieber Nation? (11/12a)
Not the same as the old bosses (11/12a)
This sure feels like her moment. (11/12a)
It's down to two bidders. (11/12a)
They'll soon be here, and then we can start obsessing about who'll win.
Forget Brexit--it's our yearly survey of doings in Blighty. And if you still can't forget Brexit, try drinking.
Who's going to land the hottest unsigned property in music?
That's what Hollywood smells like. Seriously. 24/7.

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