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CAPT. KIRK BOLDLY BUTCHERS GARY NUMAN’S "CARS"

Mr. Sulu, Set A Course For Hilarity
It's been 32 years since William Shatner has boldly gone where no musical artist has gone before, but it appears the actor/author/equestrian/pitchman may be preparing to have another go at it. And Gary Numan's "Cars" will be the victim.

In 1968, Shatner released the seminal rock peculiarity "The Transformed Man," which featured the actor re-interpreting tunes such as "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" and "Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man" in a vocal style that was more insistent chant than dulcet tone.

According to NME.com, Capt. Kirk is planning to perform the song on U.S. television; whether that means another installment in his popular Priceline.com spots is unknown. The Web site also reported that T.J. Hooker has tentative plans to release a new album.

When reached for comment, Numan replied, "There goes what's left of my fuckin' career. In a nice way, I might as well quit now—that's the bollocks." HITS' staff decoders were still working on just what Numan meant, but we think it's positive.

"I'm a right ‘Star Trek' fan," Numan added, a little more lucidly. "Capt. Kirk doing one of your songs—what could be a better accolade than that? That's brilliant."

In related news, the Jean-Luc Picard/Kathryn Janeway "Sing The Songs Of Love" disc is still in post-production.

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