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Music News That’s Completely Kid-Friendly… Except For The Blue Language And Innuendo Near The End
Central London was witness to a truly chaotic scene Thursday afternoon when hysterical Michael Jackson fans who were camped outside his hotel tried to get closer to their hero, according to NME.com. Fans had been waiting outside The Dorchester Hotel on London's Park Lane for a number of hours when Jackson arrived in a black van with blacked-out windows. In the chaos that followed, one fan was carried off in hysterics by security officials after clinging onto the car and refusing to let go. When the path became clear, Jackson, who was protecting himself with a face mask, as well as covering his head with an umbrella, took time to wave to the crowds, before entering the hotel. One fan at the scene said, "You'd think that security wouldn't have been so bloody violent. It was like going to a bloody Manchester football match! I was only trying to introduce my 11-year-old boy Troy to the man."… In the wake of a Village Voice cover story that exposed one of the Wu-Tang Clan's handlers to be a government informant, the group is taking steps to distance itself from the scandal. Michael Caruso (Lord Michael) made a name for himself in the early ‘90s as a promoter in New York's nightclub scene. His reputation quickly soured, however, when he added drug trafficking, extortion, home invasions, bank robbery and kidnapping attempts to his resume—what most people would simply call "street cred." After confessing to these and other crimes, Caruso escaped a prison sentence by turning state's evidence against Limelight club owner Peter Gatien, who was eventually acquitted. The Voice reported that Caruso is currently a cooperating witness against a former business partner with mob ties, Miami club king Chris Paciello. Caruso started a new career as a personal manager for Wu-Tang rapper Cappadonna. Though Caruso had revealed to the Clan elements of his criminal past (pretty cool in a thuggish way), he apparently neglected to tell the band of his cooperation with the federal government (the type of behavior that gets ya iced in the joint). Caruso's agreement doesn't permit him to associate with known criminals, which excludes many of the Clan due to their felony records. The Clan, fearing that they too may be ratted on, promptly fired the man, sources said. The moral to this inspiring children's story is, of course, "Squealers lose their cushy music industry jobs."... Sir Paul McCartney won the ultimate accolade from Britain's music industry Thursday when he was named a fellow of the British Academy of Composers & Songwriters. Robbie Williams and the Pet Shop Boys also were honored at the glittering Ivor Novello Awards ceremony in London, proving to many Americans that the British will give an award to anyone… A live music marathon with more than 7,000 concerts and 250 street festivals began in Britain Thursday. Sir Elton John, Tony Bennett, Spice Girl Emma Bunton and violinist Nigel Kennedy will join the five-day music event. The festival culminates on the evening of May 29 when the public is encouraged to join in with a nationwide karaoke performance of Lou Reed's "Perfect Day." "It would bloody well help if people knew the words to the bloody fuckin' song," said a BBC spokesman… The Red Hot Chili Peppers may have to find higher ground for a rock festival set for Aug. 5. The Rolling Rock Town Fair is scheduled at the Westmoreland County Fairgrounds near Norvelt, about 40 miles east of Pittsburgh. William Ober, a judge who owns 131 acres near the fairgrounds, said he fears that an expected crowd of up to 40,000 might be too big for the rural area to handle. He filed notice in court that he intends to sue. "Even two Pepper fans wearing only tube socks is too much for me to take," he said… Carlos Santana has landed his own line of shoes. St. Louis-based Brown Shoe Co., the maker of Buster Browns and Naturalizers, said Thursday it will produce the Carlos label of fashion footwear for men and women. Part of the sales will go to the Milagro Foundation, started by Santana and his wife in 1998 to help young people. The rest of the money will go to clive davis',390,400);">clive davis',390,400);">Clive Davis… The Goo Goo Dolls' Johnny Rzeznezeznizck will make his solo debut as the singing voice of an animated 15-year-old punk in a Disney feature slated for 2001. Rzazzmatazznik would not comment on why they chose him for the voice of Cinderella in a scheduled remake of the classic film… Sergio Andrade, the manager of jailed Mexican pop star Gloria Trevi, was moved from a Brazilian jail to a hospital suffering from anxiety-induced paralysis, Mexican ECO television network reported. Andrade and Trevi face extradition hearings after being arrested in Brazil in January on charges of corrupting minors, rape and kidnapping in Mexico. ECO said Andrade was paralyzed from the neck down, apparently as a result of anxiety. Other prison sources said his paralysis can be blamed on bunkmate "Grande" Ricardo Cabbessa.

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NEAR TRUTHS: MEET
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They'll soon be here, and then we can start obsessing about who'll win.
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Forget Brexit--it's our yearly survey of doings in Blighty. And if you still can't forget Brexit, try drinking.
ZERVAS STATION
Who's going to land the hottest unsigned property in music?
WEED!
That's what Hollywood smells like. Seriously. 24/7.
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