DON’T FOLK WITH ISRAEL

The Sinead O'Connor of his generation, Yusuf al-Islam, better known to folk-rock fans as Cat Stevens, was denied entrance to Israel because he has given money to militant Palestinian organization Hamas. Israeli officials also objected to hearing "Wild World" one too many times on Soft Rock radio.

After flying in from Germany, another country known for its religious tolerance, airport authorities detained al-Islam because he is banned from Israel. He was held at the airport for several hours before being sent back to Germany.

Stevens converted to Islam in the mid-'70s, changing his name, entering into an arranged marriage, selling most of his belongings and praying to Allah—instead of smoking a ton of weed. He then disappeared into obscurity, rising only at the end of the '80s to denounce Salman Rushdie's "Satanic Verses." Recently, he did some promotion for Universal's just-reissued Cat Stevens catalog. Excuse us while we rock out to "Tea for the Tillerman."

Reached for comment, al-Islam said that he was going to Israel to show his support for the Palestinian cause while while Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak and Palestinian President Yasser Arafat were in the U.S. at Camp David attempting to finalize a peace accord and watch DirecTV.

Reached for comment, Arafat said, "I appreciate his help. Now if you'll excuse me, Orrin Hatch is going to show me how to download ‘Moonshadow' from Napster."