WHERE THERE'S A WU, THERE'S A WAY

UMG boss Sir Lucian Grainge and Interscope chief John Janick celebrate the inking of Chinese pop phenom Kris Wu. "My Mandarin is a tad rusty," Universal's more-global-than-ever overlord proclaimed, "but I think I speak for us all when I say, 'Wǒ kěyǐ dédào duōshǎ o téngxùn gǔ piào?'" UMG Greater China CEO Sunny Chang declared this the best joke about Tencent stock he'd ever heard, and was still guffawing uproariously when this photo was snapped, as you can probably tell.

The project will be released via a partnership between Interscope Geffen A&M stateside, UMG China and Island U.K. It follows Uni's signing of the top classical artist in China, Lang Lang, early last year.

As for Wu, the 27-year-old pop and film/TV star is a huge deal in Asia and recently became the first Chinese star to hit #1 at iTunes U.S. (thanks to "Deserve" featuring Travis Scott). He also grabbed listeners last year as writer/producer/artist on several tracks for the film XxX: Return of Xander Cage, in which he also co-starred. He's fluent in Mandarin, English and Korean, and has lent his pretty mug to such global brands as Mercedes-Benz smart cars (peep the "Kris Wu Edition" in China), McDonald's and Burberry. So, yeah, cha-ching.

"Kris is an incredibly talented recording artist, songwriter, actor and entrepreneur," Grainge said. "I’m thrilled that Kris is joining the UMG family and honored that we will have the opportunity to build upon his remarkably successful career. Now, where's my smart car?"

Chang then invited Grainge, Janick and Darcus Beese to the afterparty. "It'll be pretty chill," Chang said. "Just a billion or so people."